SELF-LOVE AND HUMAN DESIGN: 8 WAYS TO UNDERSTAND AND ACCEPT YOUR UNIQUE SELF
EPISODE #7: SELF-LOVE AND HUMAN DESIGN; 8 WAYS TO UNDERSTAND AND ACCEPT YOUR UNIQUE SELF
In this episode, Leah dives deep into the topic of self-love and how it relates to Human Design. She shares her insights and personal experiences on the different ways to cultivate self-love based on your Human Design energy type and other practices. She discusses all of the following:
13:02 What is self-love and why is it important?
16:56 How to love yourself deeper
15:41 Why Human Design is an important tool for self-love and how each energy type in Human Design can practice self-love
25:09 8 ways to cultivate more self-love into your life
31:41 Ways I embody self-love
37:35 Positive self-talk vs negative self-talk
59:52 Self-love mantras
Leah, 5/1 Sacral Generator, shares the importance of self-love and how it’s connected to human design. Self-love can lead you to embody your highest self, so Leah discusses how you can love yourself on a deeper level and use your human design to practice self-love. Leah also explains the difference between positive and negative self-talk. See her self-love mantras below!
MANTRAS:
Visualize your highest self, then show up as her/them/him
I am mine before I am anyone elses
Every day make a tiny agreement with yourself and follow through with it. You'll start to see yourself as a person who honors their word even when no one is watching, and that's what creates true self-confidence.
The way that we speak to ourselves matters
You are the main character in your story
Do it for your future self
Dream until its a reality
Do it for you
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RESOURCES MENTIONED:
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ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:
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Intro/Outro song is 6am by Young Mooski
EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:35]
Hello, welcome back to another episode of the design of you, the podcast. I am Leah, as you heard in the intro, and if you're listening, you probably already know who I am. If not, welcome. I am excited for today's episode. It's gonna be all about self love. I'm actually gonna give you guys 8 different ways to practice self love.
[00:01:00]
Is 6 Okay, just kidding, 7! 7 ways to cultivate more self love. Within your life that I just sort of put together. And, , I'm going to talk about how this relates to han design and how han design can be such an amazing tool to develop more self love and all that good stuff. But before I get into the content of the episode, I just want to check in with you guys, see how you are, what's new, what's been happening personally in my life.
[00:01:33]
Things have been going really great. However, there was a major hiccup in my life that happened last week, which was not super fun. And I'll tell you guys about it. So, my dog Gus Gus, if you know me or, , follow me even a little bit closely on Instagram, you will know that I am deeply in love with my dog.
[00:01:54]
I'm deeply obsessed with my animals. I grew up in a family that always had a lot of animals. , I always joke I grew up in a zoo. Cause Between divorced parents and different things you just I just love animals. I'm an animal lover I actually at one point thought about going into veterinary veterinary to become a vet and then realized that was Maybe not my journey in life But I still hold a very deep appreciation for animals and my fur babies are my world and those of you that know me from a few years ago actually lost a dog in 2019 and It was horrible.
[00:02:31]
, I never want to lose a dog ever again. It was, , I'm not even gonna get into it. You can, you can literally stalk my personal Instagram and find the information about that. , but my dog Gus Gus that I have, I've had him since. It's August of 2020 and he is me and Zander's world. He means everything to us.
[00:02:50]
And this past week he was feeling, so there was a series of events, let me tell you. So first off he ended up, he had to go to the vet on Tuesday morning because if I have a Frenchie pug mix and those dogs are absolutely overbred and I'm not here to have a conversation around. Rescuing, adopting and different things because, , I know more about that than I did when I got a dog a few years ago.
[00:03:17]
And, , the one thing that I'll say though is that the breed of dog that I have has a lot of issues, health issues, and my dog personally is allergic to literally everything. And so he was having a skin flare up actually, and so we had taken him to the vet on Tuesday morning. And he had this fat bill of all sorts of just different things.
[00:03:39]
They wanted to run some blood work and just different tests and stuff on him. And so we did that. Then a few hours later, he started shaking, trembling, just, he didn't seem right. And. Of course, we're , okay, something that he, , received at the vet. He's having, you know, a reaction to, so we ended up, , sending, so we ended up, , kind of, you know, calling the vet and long story short, we had to basically take him to the emergency vet that evening.
[00:04:10]
And, , there was nothing that happened at the vet appointment that morning that caused what was going on. What we found out was there was a large object. In our dog's stomach, and he's not a a chewer, , he, I mean he loves his toys, and he loves a bone, but he's not one to, , get into, , , you know, eat a shoe, or , you know, eat something weird, , that's not really his M.
[00:04:38]
O., and so we were really confused. We took him to the vet, and they had to keep him overnight, which was, , A knife to my heart, just hearing that he had something in there that was potentially needed to be operated on. So yeah, so he stayed overnight at the emergency vet, and then in the morning had to be transferred to another emergency vet to perform a surgery to surgically remove.
[00:05:03]
Said object. Well, upon surgery, they get in there. There actually wasn't object. He had a giant gulb of food just kind of stuck there. And I have a dog. I have a, it's a Frenchie Pug, so he's got that smushed face. And it's formally called brachialic. I'm probably butchering the word, but. So he doesn't breathe great.
[00:05:22]
And we have actually been talking about getting him. You can perform literally a rhinoplasty on dogs to . Fix their breathing issues. And so we were, we were planning to do that because our vet had been mentioning it probably within the last six months. And I just said that it would help him have a happier and longer life.
[00:05:39]
And of course I'm all for my dog living as long as possible and having a happier life. So we had been talking about doing that. Well, we should have, , done that a lot sooner because basically he's struggling to breathe and it's affecting kind of all of his internal organs. And so it affected his digestive system, which showed up to look there was something inside of his stomach when really it was just a ton, a ton of food that he couldn't pass.
[00:06:03]
So it was a very eventful. Last couple days that today's Sunday, and this was, you know, all of last week, I didn't sleep at all Tuesday night when he was at the vet, because they were calling us every few hours to update us. I had to cancel everything last week. I was truly just a freaking mess. , I really, I really was.
[00:06:25]
And, you know, through the surgery, he did well. He's a fighter. He's a, He's a good boy, but, , definitely it's, it's a little bit, , just stressful kind of when your, your babies are not feeling well, and it's also really expensive and you have to just. You know, trust the professionals to do their job, but that said, if you hear any snoring or grbling in the background, Gus Gus is with me.
[00:06:50]
, he is, has to have eyes on him at all times. So he does not get into his incision site, which is funny because the way that he's shaped, he can't even reach it because he's just a big fat chunk. He can't, he can't actually even get to that part of his body. So But we're just watching him. He can't do anything crazy and he's just sleeping, but he is a snorer because of his breathing issues.
[00:07:13]
So, I, I don't even actually, , I'm not sorry, not sorry. He is alive and I'm so happy for that and I want him to snore forever next to me. And that said, we are actually getting his nose operated on in a couple weeks, so it's gonna be a real Real month for us in the personal department, , just a lot of dog stuff going on.
[00:07:31]
So, that was my last week, I was a freaking mess and thank you to those of you that sent prayers, that texted me stories, you know, my dog got into something and, you know, he was totally fine. I know how scary this feels, , so much for making me feel, you know, valid and not the helicopter mom that I am with my dog, but also just the prayers because it is scary, .
[00:07:56]
Especially the type of dog that I have, he doesn't do well under anesthesia. And so it's just terrifying to just, you know, think of all the what ifs. And I share it on my personal Instagram. I actually ended up writing mantras Tuesday night when I couldn't sleep. I literally was , I got one point, grab Zander in the middle of the night and tears, just streaming down my, my cheeks, just hysterical, crying and just praying and hoping for the best and.
[00:08:23]
I, I had reached out to Emily, the medi who I, who mentors me and I'm , can you communicate with my dog? I was trying to communicate with him energetically and she actually was able to get through to him and, and talk to him a little bit about what was going on. And, , it, I don't know. So thank you so much for everyone that just took a minute to send a, a little love note to Zander and I, and just make us feel better because we were absolutely, well, I should say I was absolutely terrified.
[00:08:53]
I think Zander was nervous too, but Zander literally, , my sister recently coined Zander is Zen. Zen Zander, which I said Zen Z. 'cause Z's his nickname and Zander's gonna say again. You always talk about me on my, on your podcast and yeah, I do. Sorry, I love you. But , yeah, so he is Zen Z and he was very Zen throughout the whole experience.
[00:09:15]
So that was, that was good. But I was, on the other hand, not. Not Zen. I was losing my shit. But I am feeling better now. He's next to me. He's improving. Today is the first day that he really started to seem more himself. he, He hasn't been able to literally get out of his bed, , without help. And he kind of wobbled his way out and was sniffing the floor, which, , sounds so stupid, but I had actually, I was eating leftovers and he came up and begged for them.
[00:09:42]
And I was , I don't love when my dog begs, but I will, you can beg for forever. , because I would rather you have, have you next to me begging then, then not here next to me, but begging. And I, I, I know what that feels when they're not there and you lose a dog because that's happened to me. So I am just grateful that everything turned out okay.
[00:10:04]
And, , yeah, so he's just snoring his face off. I actually have a commercial that I'm adding into this podcast that you're going to hear later. And, , I was recording it and literally had to rerecord that 85 times only, not only because I was, you know, messing up a million times, but also because he is just literally , in the background, just making every noise possible.
[00:10:27]
, but yeah. Okay. So sorry if you hear that and let's see what else is going on. , we had a friend visit Joe. If you listen to my podcast, he was just out here visiting us and. It's been a swamp out in California, swamps, maybe not the right word, but just a, it's just been raining. And I feel so stupid when I complain about that because I am from the Midwest where it's snowy and rainy.
[00:10:53]
And literally where I'm from, the sky is permanently gray. I'm convinced it's obviously always sunny and beautiful in California. And it's rained . A couple days, a week, , the past couple months, and this is very unusual to California and I am just , I miss the sunny weather and , I've just been such a little spoiled brat around the weather here, , that I'm just mad that it's, you know, that it's raining, but no, all in all though, it does sometimes feel nice when it rains here, but it's been, it's been, you know, kind of weird.
[00:11:26]
Cause we had a visitor and I felt so bad because the weather was, You know, so kind of dreary and then all of this happened with Gus Gus while he was here and it's just Just felt bad that you couldn't entertain the way that you or at least that the way that I would prefer to so All that happened.
[00:11:44]
I took surfing lessons last week as well. This actually this was also the morning of What happened with Gus Gus, I took surfing lessons and I really enjoyed it. That was my first time ever surfing and I think it's going to be something that I pursue. I'm just kind of into it. I want a physical hobby.
[00:12:04]
, you know, people play beach volleyball or, you know, or I'm bowling leagues or different things. , I think I'm going to try to do surfing. , I wasn't amazing at it. , I wasn't. I guess terrible for first timer. I really don't know. I got up right away and wrote a wave all the way to the end.
[00:12:20]
And I don't know, Zander was impressed with me, but I am wanting to start doing lessons . I don't know, once a month or just a frequency and then maybe increase it so I can start to just go on my own and enjoy it. Cause it felt so good to just be in the water, in nature and it was such a crappy day out too.
[00:12:40]
the surf instructor kept saying , it's choppy, it's not a good day for this, but we're going to do it. And we still had so much fun. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. So that is the latest and greatest with me. And so this episode again is going to be about self love. So let's just dive right into it.
[00:13:02]
Okay, so the first thing I want to talk about is what is self love? And self love is loving yourself, believing in yourself, having compassion for who you are, and being kind to yourself. Self love is really just It's just an all encompassing phrase around how to love yourself deeper. And I believe that self love is so important because it allows us to believe in who we are and if you could just put some belief and feeling and thought behind things that you desire in life.
[00:13:44]
That's everything that you need to have a fulfilling life and to really, you know, manifest great things. And I actually just asked you guys on Instagram what you guys wanted to know about self love, if you had any questions for me about self love. So I just reviewed those and I'll definitely get to all your questions.
[00:14:04]
But most importantly, I want to talk about how han design can help us understand ourselves on a deep level that can lead to self love. So why han design comes into play here, I will, I can weave han design into literally anything at this point, , because I think han design is just the cornerstone of everything, but han design is so important when it comes to self love because it allows you to see yourself and to come home to yourself.
[00:14:35]
And understand all of your different gifts that you carry and how your energy naturally operates. I always say it, but we are born the highest versions of ourselves. And we literally have everything that we are equipped with to live a life that, you know, is the life of our dreams. And, you know, what happens is, again, you know, we experienced conditioning from, you know, I talk about this every single episode.
[00:15:01]
So conditioning that. , gets us further away from ourselves. And so if we can understand our han design and get back to a place of understanding how we were innately designed in, you know, born to operate in the world, how our energy works, then we can develop a deep sense of self love and appreciation.
[00:15:22]
And that is one of the coolest things about han design. When I work with people is just starting to see how they begin to love themselves again and start to say, you know, this is a part of me. I am, you know, creative or perhaps I'm, you know, someone who loves to investigate things. And there's obviously different sort of.
[00:15:41]
Layers to your chart and where things can show up as your gifts and your strengths and so on and so forth But it's just overall han design It can just allow us to accept ourselves and to get closer to our true nature and how this happens is You know first we all have an energy type and our energy is designed to well I should say our energy is sort of This overall sort of arching theme around how our energy works.
[00:16:09]
It's literally how our aura operates in the world and knowing your energy type and living in accordance to it is just the nber one thing that can get you closer to loving yourself. Why? Because so much of us, because of conditioning, we Are so far away from how we're designed to operate and who we really are.
[00:16:35]
And so we experience a lot of friction and this can show up in the theme of you are not self. So it can look this could look frustration. If you're a generator or a manifesting generator, it can look bitterness. If you're a projector, it can look anger as a manifestor and it can look disappointment as a reflector.
[00:16:56]
And so these sort of, when we get so stuck in that, . Going against the grain of how our energy wants to flow, we experience so much resistance and, you know, those negative feelings and after so long, when we experience those negative feelings, that's when things start to manifest on a deeper layer where, you know, disease or even mental health issues and different things can start to come to the surface and I think, you know, we are obviously in a crisis right now with, with a lot of that stuff.
[00:17:26]
And, and I'm no stranger to any of that. I am an anxious person and I have been my whole life. Self note, this is a side note. I ever since following my han design, and I'm not saying this is a cause and effect, and I am not a doctor, so do not take this information as fact, because it's not.
[00:17:46]
I have not experienced anxiety at all since I started living. In accordance to my han design and specifically since I left my corporate career, that was so not me and was not my, my life's purpose, , and this was literally a year ago, , when I actually made the full sort of jp and literally, I just said this recently that I, I, I have not experienced any sort of anxiety, panic, even depression.
[00:18:20]
That's been something that I've dealt with a little bit. And so I haven't had any of that since I've been going with the flow of my energy and I'm proud of myself for that. So I'm actually going to allow myself to just, you know, perceive the, the fact that I'm proud. , But I really think what it comes down to is it's self love and understanding how my energy works to, you know, go with my energy rather than against it.
[00:18:49]
And I actually want to talk about what self love looks for each of the energy types. So we're going to start with the most common type to the least common type. So generators, so generators can cultivate self love by connecting with their passions and finding joy in their work and hobbies.
[00:19:07]
Generators are designed to follow what they love to do, and so by honoring what they love, they can honor their, they can honor their energy. And the other thing is that they have to honor their energy levels as well, when the energy's Not there when they've used it on things that they love to do.
[00:19:28]
And it's kind of, you know, the battery's empty and needs to recharge. honoring the fact that maybe they need some rest and rejuvenation and generators can benefit from taking time to reflect on their strengths and accomplishments and celebrating their successes. So if you're a generator listening, my tip for you is to find some time today.
[00:19:47]
To write out what you love doing what you're passionate about something that is lighting you up lately or piquing your interest that you want to go explore or, you know, a project you want to start. And I think, you know, don't get too caught up in, Oh my gosh, there's not anything that I love to do.
[00:20:03]
Guys, a hobby can be anything if you to, you know, in your kitchen, if you . Chopping vegetables. Okay, great. you love to cook. Maybe you to chop things up, you know, having a hobby or a talent, you don't have to be someone that plays an instrent or. You know, have this , you know, gift, you don't have to have something crazy to have an interest.
[00:20:23]
It's just what are you interested in? Maybe it is watching TV. Maybe it is reading a book. Maybe you love animals. Maybe you love to take walks. Maybe you're, you know, hot girl walk. that's what you do. I think everyone has their little interests. So don't overthink it. Just what's exciting to you.
[00:20:39]
What's lighting you up? Maybe it's , oh my gosh, lately, jazz music is lighting me up. I don't know why I just thought of jazz music, but It can be so simple. Just what's lighting you up. That's your homework. If you're a generator, and if you're a manifesting generator, how you can cultivate self love is by balancing your need for speed and efficiency with taking time to reflect and tune into your intuition.
[00:21:00]
Or authority. And you know, you can also benefit from focusing on activities and projects that bring you joy and excitement, similar to a generator, following the things that you love and practicing patience when you encounter obstacles or delays and, you know, honoring your unique process and trusting that everything is unfolding for you in divine timing.
[00:21:20]
And you don't have to overdo it. If you are, if your body is. Not able to work as fast as your mind honor that that's what you can do as a manifesting generator And so let's move on to projectors now projectors can cultivate self love by focusing on what they're what also they're interested in But what what are their talents and you know, recognizing their value in the world?
[00:21:43]
They can also benefit from setting clear boundaries prioritizing rest and relaxation to avoid burnout projectors have a tendency to Try to keep up with the generators and the manifesting generators of the world. And they're simply not designed to, they're designed to lean into rest and rejuvenation and relaxation.
[00:22:04]
So whether that's a nap for you, a walk, staring into the abyss of nothingness to allow yourself to have that rest. So rather than so much output. You actually have more, you know, give yourself some input. How you receive input is just by chilling. You know, the other thing that projectors can do is by tuning into their intuition, following your inner guidance, your authority, rather than pushing yourself to keep up with everyone.
[00:22:30]
Trust your energy and, you know, put your energy in the places that you're going to be recognized and seen. Not where you think you're going to be recognized and seen, where you truly are. So moving on to manifestors. Manifestors can cultivate self love by embracing their autonomy and independence. They can focus on giving themselves permission to act on their desires.
[00:22:51]
Without seeking approval or permission from others, , it's important for manifestors to set clear boundaries, communicate their needs, inform, , in a very direct and respectful way. , because really , you know, manifestors, you're going to get all these creative ideas and they're going to come and, , you know, embrace that, embrace your independence, embrace your boldness, your uniqueness.
[00:23:14]
Self love for you is by honoring that by not fitting yourself into a box, by not being the same as everyone else, by not, you know, letting people stop you by just being unapologetic. That's self love for you. And the other thing is that you also will need some rest. You're a manifester, but you don't have a sacral.
[00:23:31]
You're not a, you're not a generator, a manifesting generator, and there's no good or bad between either of those. But it just is a note that it's important for you to take rest as well, just a projector. Moving on to reflectors. So how reflectors can cultivate self love is by honoring their sensitivity and taking time to process their emotions and experiences.
[00:23:52]
They can also benefit from spending time in peaceful environments and avoiding situations or people that drain their energy. Since reflectors feel the energy of everyone else around them. And everything around them, literally, they feel everything. So they're picking up on their environments and the people that they're around.
[00:24:11]
So that said, it's so important that a reflector surrounds themselves and plants themselves in environments where they actually love who they're with. They love the person that they become when they're with this, these, this person, or they're in this environment or this space. So it's really important that they.
[00:24:28]
put themselves in places that make them feel at peace and that are pleasant to them and you know also again everyone else by tuning into their intuition embracing their natural ability to reflect and adapt to their surroundings and By you know keeping their energy safe and sacred because it is Reflectors are also so gentle and just resilient.
[00:24:49]
And so it's important for them to, you know, bake in some alone time and just kind of have that space to be by themselves because that's going to allow them to continue to be so gentle and resilient around everyone else around them. So, around everyone else around them. Girlfriend is struggling to speak this Sunday.
[00:25:09]
But in other ways that you can practice self love with han design, , come from so much more within our chart and understanding all of the different layers. And so my advice for anyone listening is that when it comes to your energy type, honoring your energy is going to be nber one. And then nber two, using your strategy and authority, which is how you honor your energy and you know, making every decision from that place that is going to be a form of deep, deep self love.
[00:25:41]
And it's going to allow all of your gifts to. Show up in han design. We all have unique gifts or rather our gates within our chart and You can actually how you'll know what gates you have or simply by looking up your han design chart and there are going to be two colns on each side that are just nbers and All of those nbers are one of the gates.
[00:26:05]
There's 64 total. So Gate 1, gate 2, gate 3, gate 4, they're all going to be gifts, but some of them aren't going to be conscious and some of them are not going to show up all the time, so I actually recommend understanding your channels. and I just actually made it possible. So on my website, you can now actually see what your channels are in a list view without having to understand your chart and channels are basically when two gates or the nbers come together and form a channel of energy that connect between the different energy centers.
[00:26:38]
So , if you're looking at your chart, you'll see these. Different shapes. And so if you have one of those shapes colored in, this doesn't apply to reflectors. Reflectors don't have any channels. And so you look at, look at where the shapes are. Again, this will just be listed on my site when you hear this as well, but the, where the shapes are there, if there is, if they're colored in and there is, and if they're colored in, there's going to be an energy, , sort of line of energy that's, , connecting to another center that's colored in, that's going to be one of your channels and it's going to have a nber on it.
[00:27:08]
So. For example, in my chart, I have the 2 14 channel, the 60 3 channel, and the 44 26 channel. And they all have names, and there's 36 channels total, just so you know that. And those are where you have your strongest gifts. And if you're a reflector, it doesn't mean you don't have a strong gift. Because you don't have a channel, your, your energy is again, going to be felt through people that you're with.
[00:27:32]
So you're going to actually experience the channels and the centers and the different gifts that other people have through being around them. And you're going to become really wise about the way that other people's energy operates. And what I would recommend is getting really comfortable with the gates that you do have, specifically your conscious gates.
[00:27:48]
So all of them listed in the. Right hand, , coln of your chart. It's going to say conscious or personality. , it's going to be the, there's going to be a word above it. All of those are going to be ones that you'd want to know. And then again, in the ones, not again, I didn't even say this, but the ones in your incarnation cross are also going to be important to know.
[00:28:06]
And your incarnation cross is made up of Sun and earth gates on both sides of your chart, , all four of those. And if you want a deep dive into all of this, , I actually cover each one of the gates that you have in your chart in your personalized guidebook. So my personalized guidebooks are a 95 plus page guidebook that gets into the deep layers of your han design chart.
[00:28:31]
So it includes a, it literally a page for each of the gifts or gates, and I give you the high expression and the low expression of what the gates or gifts look . And then I also have a page for each of the channels that you have. If you are not a reflector and also a whole page on your incarnation cross as well as a bunch of other things, , they're really cool.
[00:28:54]
And I literally have the best reviews on them. , again, tooting my own horn here, but , I, I'm so proud of those guidebooks. They're so cool and so much fun. So, and I also, in a little announcement, I just actually launched a feature to add a page. As a gift. So if you gift one of these, you can now add a page where you say , you know, I, I love you.
[00:29:17]
Happy birthday. , hope you enjoy this, you know, blah, blah, blah. You can add a whole gift message in there now and it will be a page of the book. And these are PDFs emailed to you. They're not physical books. I would love to do that at some point, but right now just PDFs and yeah, and you can go get it printed at your local.
[00:29:34]
Print shop is what I recommend. So that will help you understand. I mean, not only those parts of your chart, but all the other parts as well. And understanding the parts of who you are is how you build self awareness. And then, you know, self love, because when we're aware of who we are, when we finally understand ourselves to a, an energetic level, we can then step into the highest versions of ourselves.
[00:30:02]
In a greater way. And so I think that han design can be so powerful because it kind of reminds you , Oh, this is who I am. And here's an example. So I am a highly creative person. I always have been literally wanted to be an artist as a kid. I'm just a very creative han. That's just in my blood.
[00:30:22]
And the cool thing is when I started getting into han design, when I knew that han design had some validity, It was when I found out that my conscious son, , which is the most potent gift or gate in your chart is in gate one and gate one is the gate of basically create creative self expression, divine creativity.
[00:30:43]
And so it was really cool when I realized that because I'm , yeah, that makes sense. I'm constantly creating. And so. Yeah, it's just super cool that that is, , my conscious sentence, the, the strongest gift that I have. So learn your gifts, learn your gates, learn everything about your han design.
[00:31:05]
It will, it will impact your self awareness and understanding of yourself in such a positive way. So. Definitely recommend either booking a reading, learning about human design, continuing to listen to this podcast to learn the deeper layers and get your guidebook, get yours, learn about your chart. And there's so many other ways to just understand and familiarize yourself with human design.
[00:31:30]
But of course, recommend my guidebooks and something else that I'm going to talk about in a little bit.
[00:31:41]
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My multifaceted approach includes the internal tools of han design, holistic health, manifestation and neuroscience. science. There are 12 modules focused on building self awareness, self exploration, deconditioning, and integration. You'll learn to cultivate intentions, trust your intuition, understand your unique gifts, discover your purpose, align with your true self, nourish your body and soul, and so much more.
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[00:33:13]
As well as the opportunity to connect and learn from others on the same journey. So whether you're just starting your han design journey, or you're looking to take your understanding and experiment to the next level, the method is for you. Join us March 20th and. Experience the ultimate han design and spiritual wellness journey.
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[00:33:47]
Okay. Now coming at you with a more sort of personal angle to self love, I want to talk about some sort of spiritual practices, , some things outside of han design. That I think are just really helpful in terms of self love. And I'd love to share with you guys a personal story just on self love. So, you know, for me, I would say that I, I, I do have a, , high degree of self love.
[00:34:16]
I, I wouldn't, I feel comfortable kind of declaring that. And I don't think that that's something that happens overnight. I think there's been a lot of points in my life where, you know, I didn't feel self love and I didn't feel . You know, the best version of me, but I've always been really focused on ways to, to, to love myself, I guess, , here's something that I'm going to share.
[00:34:41]
And, and I know this isn't everyone and everyone's experience, but I would say that I have a high level of, , belief in myself. I have a defined ego. I, I have also a defined identity. Which is where I think you would probably look for, perhaps, self love within the chart. The ego and the identity would probably be good places to start.
[00:35:05]
And so if you have your ego or identity to find, you may resonate with some of these. And you may not. Again, , experiment with it. But the one thing for me is that, , I do really believe in myself and my whole life I have. , you know, , when you're hearing someone share about an experience that they have, or something in their life.
[00:35:26]
But you know, when you're hearing someone talk about an experience in their life and you don't relate to it, I've had that happen to me, I guess, around self love. And what I mean by this is, I recently actually was just watching a TikTok where someone was talking about, it was, it wasn't about self love, it was just a TikTok in general about sort of the way that we speak to ourselves and the way that there are people who literally just hate themselves.
[00:35:53]
They hate the way that they look. They hate the way that You know, things, things are about their body and I will say that I've actually never experienced that, that level of, , perfectionism within myself. I think I've always just had the mindset that , you know, I love who I am. I what makes me unique and I'm going to embrace that.
[00:36:17]
And I think that that is important to know and I don't say that in some sort of selfish way. I say that because I say that because I, I think that that's probably why so many great things have happened to me, , because of the amount of self love that I do have. And so what I mean by this is that, so I kind of bucketed there's seven different categories around self love practices that I wanted to share and I'm going to quickly just kind of run through what they are and then we'll dive into each one a little bit deeper.
[00:36:52]
So the first one is self care. The second one is being kind to yourself. The third one is boundaries. The fourth one is forgiving yourself. The fifth one is gratitude. The sixth one is discipline. And the seventh one is honoring your energy. Those are, I'm going to get into what each of those mean and different practices you can do to, you know, get closer to those things.
[00:37:17]
But I will say that there are, there's kind of a scale, right? Where sometimes things are, maybe you're on the end of , I do a lot of those. And then there's the end of , I don't do any of those. And I would say It's a sliding scale. And for each of those different categories, there are things that I'm.
[00:37:35]
Maybe on the end of , I do really well at that and, or maybe I, you know, I'm not so great at that or I'm learning to get better at that. , you'll hear myself. I'm really working, working on developing kinder self talk. , actually, and that was one of the questions that someone put through is , how can you develop kinder self talk?
[00:37:52]
So we're going to talk about that, but I'm working on reframing my language a lot. And I caught myself actually earlier in this podcast, I can't remember exactly what I said when I started recording, but I said something around I don't even know what I said, but I said, , I, there's a couple of times, even in the beginning of this podcast that I spoke to myself in a negative way.
[00:38:10]
And that's important because again, , I might not be fully on the, , I do this really well, but again, also we'll talk about energy and things behind it as well. So I, I think that there are lessons that I can share around what it's to, I guess, you know, believe in yourself and how a lot of degree of self love and.
[00:38:31]
I guess it's because there's just different ways that you kind of reassure yourself. I don't know, you know, I talked about dogs earlier. And one of the things that I learned when I was training both of the dogs that I've had is, you know, positive reinforcement, right? , I think a lot of times people think that when you are, you know, a parent or you're trying to get someone to do, to not do something.
[00:38:53]
It's discipline and yelling and, you know, telling them no. And the one thing I learned with my dog that my dog taught me is that. You actually can't tell your dog. No, you can't, you can't just know your way out of a bad behavior. It's , I guess the same thing would apply to kids. It's , you can't just keep telling them no without one explaining why, or also acknowledging when they're doing something good.
[00:39:17]
The best way to train a dog, which I'm not an expert in this, but I have a really well behaved dog is you have to reinforce the good behavior. So every time Gus goes, when he was a puppy would do something well, Good. I literally had a fanny pack that I would keep treats in and every time he did something good, good, good, he's just, he just looked at me because he's , what am I doing?
[00:39:39]
Good. , he knows that word, especially the way I say it good, but that positive reinforcement is what really made him a great dog because every time he did something, well, we talked about it and you know, I think. Maybe my parents maybe didn't actually a really good job at that. I felt , you know, and I know they listened to my podcast.
[00:39:57]
So kudos, mom and dad. , you guys, I think perhaps maybe did a lot of that. , good sort of, I guess, positive reinforcement and you know, there's layers to this, but I would say that that's something that I also have learned about self love is that . We have to love ourselves. We have to, we have to tell ourselves, you know, how great we're doing at different points.
[00:40:19]
And I, I did that a couple of times in this episode where I'm , that was, I'm proud of myself for that. . Reflecting on what you're proud of and what makes you, you know, happy about yourself. Those are ways that you can continue to positively reinforce yourself rather than looking in the mirror and saying, you know, I'm ugly or I'm not good enough or all of those negative things that we can that way.
[00:40:37]
It's so easy sometimes to default to those that can that can help that can get you into a place of. Not loving who you are and you're going to have really rude self talk and that's going to affect your life overall. That's just one of the ways that I just wanted to kind of note this before I dive into all of these.
[00:40:59]
So let's start with the first one. The first one is self care. And self care obviously comes in so many different formats. But this can be, you know, taking care of your physical, emotional, mental health. By getting enough sleep, eating healthy food, engaging in physical activity that you enjoy, engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
[00:41:19]
Self care, going to get the massage, if that's what you to do, I know not everyone s that, you know, taking the time to take that bubble bath, you know, watching your favorite show, prioritizing the things that you enjoy doing that make you feel good eating healthy food, you know, prioritizing your sleep and , again, this is a sliding scale.
[00:41:41]
I don't think everyone is , you know, perfect at things all the time. But when you develop self care. , go in to get your nails done if that's what you do, , that's, , literally one of the things, , when I was working my corporate job, I remember I had this day, and it was a fucking horrible day, and I got in, , just, I don't even remember what happened, but it was just, , one of those days where you're just, , crying and everything sucks at that sort of feeling.
[00:42:08]
And I remember , literally in the midst of sobbing my eyes out over whatever happened at work, I Googled massage near me. And I booked myself a massage that night. And I know that not everyone has the means to be able to do that. But, , at the time it was , you know, . 60, 70 bucks for that hour for me.
[00:42:31]
that was so worth it. And I literally got done with work, put my pants on and, you know, grab my keys, got in my car, drove to the place and. I didn't have to talk I just got a massage and it relaxed me. And so, you know, finding the things that you to do that are self care, whether that's taking a walk, taking a nap or whatever, that is going to be a form of self love because you're taking care of yourself and you know what you need and you're putting the energy towards that, whether that's, you know, monetary energy or, you know, just your attention, whatever that is, maybe it's journaling, maybe it's.
[00:43:07]
You know, again, sleeping and doing those things because that's important. The second thing that I want to talk about is Being kind to yourself. So again, speaking kindly to you. Kendall Jenner was on the Jay Shetty podcast, which is a phenomenal podcast. I am obsessed with Jay Shetty. And she spoke about, I actually didn't even listen to the episode.
[00:43:30]
This was a viral reel I saw. And she talked about how she was doing a lot of inner child work with her therapist. And one of the recommendations was to take a photo of her as a kid. And put that on her mirror every day. So every day when she looks into the mirror, and she wants to talk poorly to herself, and say, you look disgusting, or, , you're fat today, or whatever the horrible things that we just tell ourselves.
[00:43:55]
She looks at the picture of her as a little girl and says, That's who I'm speaking to though, that's the person that is, , think of yourself as a little girl or a little boy or a little, you know, when you were younger, think of yourself when you were a kid and think of the person that you wanted to be when you got older and with that younger version of yourself, when they, if, when you say that you look disgusting, what would that do to that little, that younger version of yourself and what would that younger version of yourself, If they were picturing them when they got older, who did they picture themselves as?
[00:44:33]
This is actually when I do purpose sessions with people. That's a question I'll bring up in that. But also, , who would they envision themselves to be? And how are you, in the way that you're talking to yourself, how is that embodying? What that younger version of yourself dreamed of and so being really kind to yourself is important And I know it's hard because we all have those days We're especially as females , you know I'm on my period right now and I just don't feel my best self and I'm not perfect at this I literally had a breakdown at the beginning of January because ever since I've gotten off birth control My body has changed a lot and I literally I cried as I was getting ready and Zander, Zander's just staring at me and I'm just crying and having a moment because I just didn't feel good and it feel , you know, my best version of myself.
[00:45:23]
And so I'm , ew, everything looks bad on me. I'm bad. You know, the horrible things that we say to ourselves. You know, I had to remind myself, , I'm not, I didn't, there's things that brought me to the place that I'm at that were really helpful for me. So whether I skipped a workout because I was really stressed and needed rest, or I, you know, ate something that was comforting because, , I needed, , just something to relax and give me an outlet.
[00:45:46]
Or, you know, I wanted to connect with friends and so we went and had pizza. Whatever that is, , those are important things too, so we have to start speaking more kindly to ourselves. You know, avoiding self criticism and self judgment and, you know, give yourself permission to make mistakes and learn from them.
[00:46:02]
If you didn't what you ate, you know, recently, okay, great. Now tomorrow's a new day or right now is a new moment. So the next piece of food that you put in your mouth, why don't you make sure it's something that makes you feel good and better about yourself. And again, that could be an ice cream cone or I don't know, a salad, that's everyone's individual, but be kind to yourself in developing, , kinder self talk is around, is, is practicing it, is doing it.
[00:46:29]
And, you know, I know some people don't believe in gratitude and, and gratitude is, , you know, one of the things that I want to talk about, but writing out your affirmations, I know people think it's weird to be , I'm beautiful and to say that. It definitely can feel uncomfortable, but I, I want you to really , and I know that there's actually, I learned this in a manifestation book that I was reading where sometimes it's a double edged sword when you say , I'm beautiful, but you don't believe it.
[00:46:58]
You're actually reaffirming that lack that you actually feel. So you're actually telling yourself every time you're here, you're saying I'm beautiful, but you don't believe that. You are actually reinforcing that, that sort of negative belief that you're not because that's bringing it up every time you're saying that.
[00:47:13]
So sometimes affirmations can be, you know, not sometimes the best thing. So it's super important to dig into sort of the neuroscience of why you have these thoughts. And so it can be really important to write all these things out. , why do you feel this way about yourself? And then practice compassion and go, what would it feel if I love myself?
[00:47:32]
What would it feel if I You know, did the way that I look, what would it feel if, you know, I did feel beautiful. And I want you to also write, write these things down and speak them however you want to get them out. I want you to , at least acknowledge what those things are. Writing's the best way I would say.
[00:47:50]
And then when you put an affirmation, you can put this next to the picture of yourself on your mirror. And you can say, you know, I am beautiful or I am, I am enough, you know, find the language that works. I'm going to offer some mantras towards the end because that being kind to yourself is really key.
[00:48:08]
And I think that that is, you know, a layer that unlocks a lot of other ways that we can love ourselves. Okay, so number three is to set boundaries. So boundaries are important because they allow you to say no to what doesn't serve you and yes to what does. And you know, I think a lot of times we talk about boundaries in relationship, You know, I have a boundary with my parents.
[00:48:31]
for me, I have a boundary around political conversations and boundaries don't feel good for the person that you, when you set a boundary, doesn't feel good for the person that that you created that boundary for. So this one takes some practice, but no, it just takes a little bit of time.
[00:48:47]
And next thing you know, you're going to have a better relationship and a better. You know, you're going to have to have be a happier person with yourself because you set a boundary that was important for you. So identify what identify what's important to you and communicate your needs and boundaries to others.
[00:49:02]
Say no when something isn't right for you. This can literally be, you know, the glass of wine that you have every night. Say no to that. That's not serving you. Set a boundary with yourself. Set a boundary around time. Maybe you need more sleep and, you know, set a boundary at 10 o'clock, nine o'clock, I am done with watching TV.
[00:49:24]
I'm done scrolling on my phone. I have a boundary. No, or, or maybe you're , you know, at a friend's place and it's approaching your bedtime. No, I need to go home. I'm going home to go to bed. And, you know, again, boundaries can feel uncomfortable for other people at first, but there is a, there's so much respect when you watch someone commit to themselves.
[00:49:46]
Zander is really good at working out every day. , he has such a strong boundary with that. , he will skip, he will be late to something. He will, he doesn't, it doesn't matter what's happening in the world. He's going to go do his workout. And , I admire that so much. , he has such a strong boundary with himself that , he knows that my mental health, my relationships, everything else that I have going on in my life.
[00:50:12]
Is going to fail unless not fail, but it's not going to be, , he can't show up his best version of himself without doing that. And so that's a form of self love right there. So, you know, again, this can show up in a lot of different colors and flavors, but that would be nber three. Nber four is to forgive yourself.
[00:50:32]
If you've made a mistake in the past, I really want you to practice compassion and to. Let go of it. Let go of grudges. Let go of self blame. Allow yourself to move on from your past mistakes and failures. I've had this experience before where I have held onto something shameful and I, and I still do, , there are moments that replay in your head that you're , why did I do that?
[00:50:55]
And why did I do this thing? Or, and we have to just let go of those and say , we're moving on and we're learning from our mistakes. And that's, that's the best we can do. So learn from your mistakes and let it, let them go. let go of anything that's happened in the past. Any shame. , it's not, it doesn't matter what you did or said, and if you're really holding on to it, you know, write a letter to either yourself or, or perhaps that person that maybe you affected that you're holding on the shame to maybe write a letter to that person and you don't even have to send it to them, but that might help you release some of that energy.
[00:51:34]
The next one is to practice gratitude. I would say gratitude is probably the one that I have nailed down, on the sliding scale, . I am a grateful person that would be some of these other ones, you know, my skills, you know, it oscillates, but this one, I would say I'm, I'm around again, I'm going to, this is a form of self love.
[00:51:56]
I'm pretty good at this one. And I know some people are gratitude bullshit. And , , specifically, I'm obsessed with the blue zones. If you guys are familiar with the blue zones are basically the places that people live the longest. And. The guy that sort of coined the blue zones and did all their research on where people live the longest and why he, he has a quote that he's basically , none of them are practicing gratitude that , it's just sort of in baked into their life.
[00:52:23]
And I agree, , I think, unfortunately, in most of, I would say the Western parts of the world, we don't live lifestyles in some of these places where We can practice gratitude just within the motion of our daily life we're so much busier here and we have to kind of bake in the self care things rather than it just being integrated into our life and So I mean for me the nber one place to do gratitude is the gratitude journal I think that's what got me into it the five minutes called the five minute journal by intelligent change That journal is so good for practicing gratitude.
[00:52:59]
It will allow you to everyday think about what you're grateful for. And every time I'm in a mentally low state, if I just start doing that journal for a week, because I don't do this consistently, I haven't done it in a while, but if I just start doing it for a week, I feel really good. And, you know, some of the things that I write that I'm grateful for are so silly.
[00:53:18]
And by the way, I almost just said her so stupid, but I, it's not stupid. , I'm, again, practicing new language. You know, there were moments that I literally would write , My fan that's blowing on me I'm great. I'm grateful for that or just the Sun or You know, I'm grateful for this pillow really silly, you know small things But really when you start to look around and you go, oh my god, I'm so grateful for these little things in my life That is going, that's a form of self love.
[00:53:48]
Be grateful for the places that you are. I had a moment recently where, you know, we just moved. And so I've been redecorating and I love to decorate, maybe in another life, I was an interior designer. Cause I love that. And so I was getting really excited about . What I want to do to our dining room and it was kind of , you know, maybe a negative form of self love was I was kind of getting bmed that I didn't have the Means to be able to decorate the way that I want right now I want to buy this piece of furniture.
[00:54:20]
That's pretty expensive And so I was getting kind of just irritated with myself that I don't have that and then I had to remind myself Hold on sister we are grateful for the fact that we even have a dining space. literally I was a year ago. You would have dreamed to live where you are right now.
[00:54:39]
And, , two years ago, you really would have dreamed where you're at right now. And three years ago, you really, really would have dreamed where you're at right now. And so. It was kind of a moment to go, okay, no, I'm really grateful. there's so where I'm at right now, there was a version of me that wanted this so bad.
[00:54:56]
So we have to just take a minute and be grateful for where we've come from and where we are. Self compassion, you know, treat yourself with kindness, concern, , compassion, and you know, whatever you would offer to a friend in a difficult time. Is going to, , that is how you should treat yourself. So if you would help someone who's going through something by making them dinner or, you know, coming over to clean their house or, or maybe, , you know, sending them a nice text, do that for yourself, send yourself the nice text, write yourself a letter.
[00:55:33]
Take care of yourself, you know, clean the the house that you need cleaner, you know Do the things that you need also ask for what you need to self practicing self compassion can also be Asking other people for help and support when you need it. Hey, I am really struggling to Keep up with my laundry right now.
[00:55:52]
Is there any way that you could come over and , I'm going to work on my laundry, but can you watch my kids or can you help me with these things? You know, something of those lines, you know, fill in the blanks, but okay. And then the next thing on this list is, is discipline and discipline is a word that I'm loving.
[00:56:14]
I actually might change my word for the year to discipline because I think discipline is. So important and I just shared on my personal Instagram a quote that I screenshotted last month that was Discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want the most. It is one of the highest forms of self love because when you commit to yourself, that makes all the difference.
[00:56:41]
And again, this is a sliding scale. I would say this one for me is kind of all over the place. when it comes to working out, I don't think I'm , I'm learning to be more disciplined. , when it comes to perhaps work, Oh, I'm disciplined. I will sit down. I could work forever. I love what I do.
[00:57:01]
And I would say having the discipline for any sort of layer in your life, it can be so important. again, sort of the being kind to yourself, the boundaries that you set for things. these are all intertwined into one big web, but they make such a difference. Discipline will literally allow you to, allow you to live a life that is true to you and gets you to where you want.
[00:57:30]
If I never would have been disciplined enough to, so my example with this one is , when I was, you know, working my corporate job and I knew I wanted to do han design, it was , It was challenging. I was really tired a lot of nights when I wanted to, , you know, I just wanted to watch TV, but instead I'm , I'm going to give a reading because I know the discipline for me to sit down and work on this thing for my business or interact with this client.
[00:57:55]
That's, what's going to be making a difference in my My future self. So your future self is Thanking you for the discipline that you are creating in your life, so discipline is key and finally the last one that I want to talk about is Honoring your energy. So this goes back to what we were just talking about in the beginning is honoring your What you have the energy for and what you don't again the discipline thing You may not these are kind of contradicting each other in some ways, but it's not really it's not what I'm trying to have them contradict so if you don't have the energy to you know go and interact with someone one day and you do have the energy to Perhaps , you know do something for yourself.
[00:58:52]
Okay, the example I'm thinking of as I'm describing this is sometimes there are weekends where there's an event that's happening. It's someone's birthday or you're invited somewhere and so And you and you go because you're , you know, this person matters to me But I don't really have the energy for that and you know Sometimes it's kind of saying honoring your energy maybe you don't have the energy for that but what do you have the energy for and perhaps that day you had the energy for You know, taking care of something, you know, following a passion of yours, starting a new project.
[00:59:25]
And so sometimes it's again, a boundary. Where you do something that you enjoy doing, and you're focusing your energy there, you have the discipline to say no, , keep a promise that you make to yourself, you are then again honoring your, so all these are kind of intertwined, but I just wanted to say honor your energy and Working with the sort of flow of your energy is going to be really important for, you know, again, self love.
[00:59:52]
So these are all of my, these are my self love tips and take those with you and, , you know, run with them. I also wanted to give you guys some mantras that I think are really great. One of them is visualize your highest self and then show up as her, she, them, they, he. show up as that person. And the other mantra is, I am mine before I'm anyone else's.
[01:00:23]
You are yours before you're anyone else's. Take care of yourself. The other one that I love is Every day make a tiny agreement with yourself and follow through with it. You'll start to see yourself as a person who honors their word even when no one's watching and that's what creates true self confidence, so loved that that might be my new background on my phone because It's so important to show up as the version of yourself that you are becoming You know, the other thing is the way that we speak to ourselves matters speak to yourself Kindly you are the main character in your story get after it go after your life If you want something, go get it.
[01:01:11]
What's stopping you? Do you have the discipline? Are you willing to, are you willing to risk? It's a risk either way. Are you willing to risk staying the same and not having the life that you desire? Or are you going to risk going after it? And, you know, failing either way, it's a risk. So go for it. I don't think you're going to fail when you try, do it for your future self.
[01:01:39]
Stop waiting for everything to be perfect and happy and make it perfect and happy honor yourself. You are becoming the best version of you. You are worthy of having an amazing life and your own approval is all you need. So don't overthink it. Confidence is powerful. Dream until it's your reality and do it for you.
[01:02:03]
Not for them, do it for you. And I'd to, as you guys heard in the commercial segment of the show, My new program called the method is now live. It is on presale right now. There are payment plans available and we're going to start on March 20th and we're going to unlock the layers of our han design.
[01:02:26]
We're going to get close to ourselves. We're going to understand our energy. This program, there's two ways you can do it. So you can, so originally it was a one on one program. It was a coaching program, a new container to work with me. And I was talking a lot about this through different sessions that I was having with people and people were , I'd love to do this in a group format.
[01:02:46]
And so I decided to offer this in two ways. The group will start the week of March 20th. And the group portion of this program will be. It's a group. So the calls will be every two weeks. , it's a six month journey with 12 modules. So every two weeks we'll have a call and well, it's kind of you were having a one on one coaching call with me, but as a group, you're going to have a community and others going to be so many other things.
[01:03:13]
A part of this, you'll get your own personalized guidebook as a part of this program. You also will have a lot of other exciting things. , within the program that are going to help you get closer to yourself. And, , it's, it's going to be really just a fun sort of group experience. There's going to be a challenge in there.
[01:03:32]
At one point, we're going to do a challenge for eating in accordance to your design. , and this is all just an experiment. we're just going to go on this journey together in han design. I'm going to guide you through it. And that's going to be the whole thing. And if you wanted more personalized attention with a personalized approach, I'm also offering this as a one on one program as well.
[01:03:52]
So this would be a more extensive, , more personalized, , a little bit more expensive as well. It's going to be a. Just a one on one you and me, we're going to really get to know each other. And I'm going to guide you through, I really believe I was put on this planet to help people connect to themselves.
[01:04:10]
And so I'm really excited to do this, not only in a personal setting, but also in a group setting. And if you do the personal one on one, you can sign up whenever, I will be taking clients all the time. , and it, 20th. That's when the program opens, but. , we, you can literally sign up for this in May and we can start, it doesn't have to be in a certain time period.
[01:04:32]
I will take on however many clients that I can within that portion of time. So I am so excited for this new program. It's going to be absolutely epic. I really am telling you guys are going to change your life in this program. , and it's going to change my life too. this is also just a journey for me.
[01:04:50]
I wanted to go on this journey with someone. And, you know, there's none of my good friends in my life are obsessed with han design the way that I am, and maybe they are, maybe they're listening and they're really interested in doing that, let me know, but, , I wanted to create a space where we can go on this together and just , Have this space to connect and just get closer to ourselves and to manifest our dream lives.
[01:05:15]
How we manifest is by getting closer to ourselves, practicing self love and all the things in between. So join me and it's gonna be an epic journey. I am not doing a reading portion of this episode because it's already really long. And I don't want to add any more time to this. So, thank you again. I love you guys so much.
[01:05:37]
And I'll see you in the next podcast. Or, I'll hear you, , energetically in the next podcast.
