It's Not Goodbye It's See You Later... A Story on Not Trusting my Authority

Podcast

Aug 12

Written By Leah McCloud

EPISODE #46: It's Not Goodbye It's See You Later... A Story on Not Trusting my Authority

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In this episode, Leah shares that she is taking a break from publishing new episodes of the podcast. She discusses all of the following:

01:40 Why Leah is taking a break

07:15 Importance of listening to your sacral authority

13:20 Leah’s next journey

39:40 What’s coming up in The Design Of You world

Leah, 5/1 Sacral Generator, is taking a break from her podcast. Leah isn’t feeling lit up by her podcast anymore, so she is taking a step back. Leah shares a story about a lesson she learned by not trusting her sacral authority. Because Leah is entering her Saturn Return, she is in a season of coming back to herself. She also discusses all the fun updates coming to The Design Of You.

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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

[00:00:00]

Some challenges are good. Some, some friction is helpful. Sometimes being uncomfortable is important to get you to your next level, but then there's also times where you're uncomfortable and you're experiencing friction and it's not the type of friction or uncomfortableness that is going to get you to your next level. It is more of a uncomfortable feeling that Is more of a signal that something isn't right.

[00:00:53]

Hello guys, welcome back to another episode of The Design of You, and potentially this might be the final episode of The Design of You. I don't know what I'm titling this yet, so maybe you already have a hint of that from The title, maybe by the time this comes out, I will have already shared this announcement on my newsletter or on Instagram, but essentially, I'm here today to let you guys know that I'm going to be retiring my podcast, and I also want to share a story about Authority, authority in human design. So we're gonna, we're going to talk about both things. And just before I dive into the authority piece. So I really want to just share with you guys how I landed here and on this decision. So I walked into 2024. With the intention with in fact on my I have I do a lot of deep goal setting at the beginning of every year.

[00:01:52]

I'm really into that And one of my goals walking into this year was I would like to up level my podcast and I wanted to You know really focus on this make it something really big and powerful and so at the end of december last year, I put a lot of time and effort and money into I redid my office. I bought furniture, turned it into a podcast studio. I bought equipment, cameras, you know, mics, softwares, all sorts of things. I hired a podcast manager. And my intention was, in 2024, I'm going to, you know, make the podcast a big part of what I do, and I, and I really want to just make it this, this big thing. So, this is weird because I didn't expect to do this at all this year. My, this was the last intention I ever had, but, Honestly, it feels really good to be sitting here today to just be telling you guys that I'm taking a step back. And why that is is because it just has not been lighting me up for a while. And I think that earlier this year, I was like, I am very lit up by the podcast.

[00:03:08]

I was lit up by the idea of it and what I wanted it to become. But the reality is, like, the everyday little pieces throughout my day. weekly schedule or day to day life, this is the last thing that I want to do every single week. This is the last place I want to show up. I am not finding enjoyment here. I, I don't look forward to recording. I don't look forward to sitting down in my podcast studio. I don't even look forward to being on other people's podcasts right now. And so I just ultimately have been feeling like a really strong disconnect and I Also have a lot going on right now. As you guys know, I got engaged at the end of June, so I'm going to be in wedding planning soon.

[00:03:58]

I haven't even kicked off that process yet, but I am excited to, you know, work on that. I am writing a book right now. My book is due, , At the beginning of September. I'm currently building you guys a human design app the next cutting edge human design app. You guys are going to Seriously love it so much. I'm also teaching human design mastery. I'm building new products and courses and so There's just a lot on my plate every single week for me to show up here it seems silly that you know one or two hours out of my day to sit down and You Record a podcast. That's all it takes at first. It felt silly for me to admit this because I was like, it's not it's not that hard, you know, that was the idea But you know what it is is it just brings me back to my human design. So i'm a generator I have sacral authority or gut feelings authority as I like to call it and it is so Crucial for me as a generator You to do the things that light me up. And in fact, when I do the things that light me up, I create more energy. I actually become a source of energy for other people and I uplift people.

[00:05:17]

I am warm and I just buzz with this generator juice that infects everything. And when I don't do things that I love, it's the exact opposite. I am a weight. I feel drained. I'm draining people around me. I don't feel like my best self. And that is what the podcast has Turned into for me. I Don't look forward to sitting down even like logically It's like okay All I have to do Is literally sit down in my chair set my camera equipment up, you know Make myself look presentable hit the record button and just Share what's on my heart and on my mind or a topic educate you all Whatever And then I have to, you know, hit stop, download that, drop it into a folder for my podcast manager, who then She edits it, creates videos, publishes it, she does everything else for the podcast. And even then it still feels like so much friction. So, so, so, so much friction. And what I've learned in my life is that there is a, there's a, there's two types of friction. Some challenges are good. Some, some friction is helpful. Sometimes being uncomfortable is important to get you to your next level, but then there's also times where you're uncomfortable and you're experiencing friction and it's not the type of friction or uncomfortableness that is going to get you to your next level.

[00:06:56]

It is more of a uncomfortable feeling that is more of a signal that something isn't right. How to determine what level of discomfort is For something you should push through, or something you should stop, is very much subjective per person, per situation. But I know myself deeply enough to know that the time and the amount of friction that this has taken from me in this year is, it's at the level of indication that this is not something right for me. So, on trusting my gut, on trusting my authority in human design, I want to tell you guys a story. So, I love my podcast manager, by the way. She's amazing. Her name is Claudia. I'm, I will put her info in the show notes because she I'm sure is open for work. So we had a three month contract and we essentially operate in those chunks. And when it came time for our contract to renew back in late April, early May, I felt my gut tell me no. I have sacral authority in human design. I'm a generator, and so my body works in response. What this means is, as a generator, I'm always attracting opportunities and things towards me. That's a part of the magnetism of being a generator.

[00:08:22]

But My body will tell me instantly whether something is a yes or a no for me. And mine is through my sacral, which is my gut. My gut feelings are my guide point. That's my authority. That's the thing that has the power inside of me. That's what I have to listen to. And It doesn't matter how long you have been on a human design journey, how deep you are into human design, there will always be moments where you go against your authority and you relearn lessons. It's like how life continues to present lessons to you until you learn those lessons, it'll keep doing that in different ways. people, different situations, different lenses, different, you know, characters, it will continue to show you a lesson until you listen. And so for me, this was, this was a lesson on listening to my gut and I failed the lesson, you know, back in April or May.

[00:09:18]

And my assistant can probably speak to this. Zander can probably speak to this. Maybe some other close friends, my social media manager definitely can. I was talking about how I wasn't sure if I was going to do, if I felt like lit up by the podcast then and I let logic get in the way and something that we learn in human design is that, you know, our decisions don't have to be logical. And I think that's a part of the human experience as we. We use our, we go against our, our authority and by using our brain and getting into our heads, using our mind to make decisions when really our body is meant to guide us in this life. And so that was one of those moments where I remember saying, you know what, Leah, just, you can do this. You can show up. It's only a couple hours per week. Get it together, bitch. You got this seriously. This is. a great thing. You can create social media clips from here. So it's, you know, I hate this. I've said this before in the podcast, but I hate this analogy, but if anyone knows a better one, let me know.

[00:10:23]

Maybe I'll just create one, but it's killing two birds with one stone. I will have social media clips, which means I'll have stuff to post. So I don't have to think of extra, you know, additional posts for the week. My social media manager doesn't have to create something then that day or week. And then I can, you know, and then I just, and then I get this content on YouTube, which I wanted to grow on. And then I also have. You know, something to put on the email. So it's like all these things that it was all tied to. And so I kept telling myself, like, this is a great thing. Continue doing the podcast. But ultimately my body was saying no, and I knew it. Like my body was literally like, don't do it. And you know what I did? I didn't listen. I signed the paperwork. I was like, we'll just keep going three more months. I could have done six months or a year or nine months or I forget all the options, but I will say I think I knew enough of like me being confused that I only did a few months. And I'm glad that I did it in that way because I think that was just me knowing that there was some unsureness that I was moving through, but yeah, I just, I just have not been lit up by this, and I didn't listen, and so as you guys have seen, I haven't been very consistent, and I don't like that.

[00:11:38]

The Generator in me really likes, like, likes consistency. It likes to do things the right way and focus on something before I move to the next thing, and I just It's just been a challenge and when I do something I want to do it well. That matters to me and because I can't stay up to date with this on a weekly basis, I can't do it as well as I would like to. For those reasons, I've decided that I am going to take a step back and then ultimately my body is just like, it's a no. Like, I feel constricted by the podcast. I don't want to Want to show up here. It really is like the last thing on my list that I look forward to And for a while it wasn't that way. This was my favorite thing to do And that's just life things change There are seasons to life things that make you excited and then all of a sudden the things that made you excited Ultimately don't anymore and then maybe the things that didn't make you excited somehow do You know at another point so It's all about just going through cycles, and I just entered my Saturn Return, so I just feel like this time in my life, it's this learning period of, Or I guess I'm more of like an evaluation period it's felt like for me since may Where i've looked at pieces in my business that I like or don't like I have looked at You know friendships that I do and don't like i've looked at habits that I do and don't like i've looked at Everything everything that you can think of the city.

[00:13:20]

I live in everything that I have I've been like experiencing in my head and feeling deep down is all of this just evaluation of where I'm at and where I want to go and where is the gap between Leah today and Leah tomorrow. In my future highest version self and i'm gonna be honest with you guys There's a pretty lengthy gap between who I am right now and who I want to become And that's a personal thing that I don't need to get into the details about and you guys will see me evolve because i'm really dedicated to Being that version of myself, but I am just looking at so many things in my life And I'm and I'm getting back into the flow of me and it's really interesting I had an intuitive reading done back in May and Something in May just in general. I walked into the month of May basically like this is the month I'm gonna take care of Leah and I'm gonna focus on my health and my wellness and it's time to focus on Leah You So that's what I did and I had this intuitive reading and I thought something really profound that came through in that read in this reading I had was it was like a intuitive Tapping into Akashic records that sort of reading and it was really great.

[00:14:40]

Her name was I forget her name I'll try and find it and drop it below if I remember if I if I don't for some reason Send me a DM and I'll pass her info along actually Erin Claire Jones And she was phenomenal, but she said this time in my life is very much a A coming home to oneself, a returning back to my roots, a returning back to what makes Leah, Leah. And it was really profound to just simply hear that because I feel like I have been a little bit disconnected from myself for a while. A while, I've been really focused on work. I've been really focused on, honestly, like, ego driven things. Like, friendships. Like, who's gonna like me? You know, like, feeling cool in my, like, friend group.

[00:15:32]

That's been, like, a big driver for me lately. And, I guess feeling like I belong cool is not the word, because I don't really give a shit about that, actually. But more like, just feeling like, You know, I belong and that I have just felt disconnected and I'm seeing it reflected my body. I'm getting older, my body's changing, but it's also been challenging, like I've been consuming content telling me how I should operate, how I should look, how I should behave. You know, everything, and I feel like I have just consumed the noise and lost touch with, with me, you know? I didn't expect to be even going into this right now, but I guess I'm going to because it's just flowing, and so maybe this will, hopefully this helps someone. It's definitely a vulnerable share, by the way, so, like, thank you for holding space for me if you're listening, and it's definitely, yeah, I, you know, it's scary being vulnerable on the The the world wide web or I don't know I guess isn't the web the cloud or whatever you guys listen to this on but yeah, it's just it's just vulnerable because you know, I think when you work in spirituality people assume your life is so perfect and you have it all together and You know, I actually I get taken back sometimes when people send me dms even I had a friend from college say something like your life looks like a dream one day when she reached out to me and I get that a lot actually that is like one of the number one You Things people say to me, your life is incredible.

[00:17:06]

It looks amazing. You know, all these things and I do love my life I think my life is very incredible. By the way, you know, I'm here to remind people I want to remind people that anything I post online is a highlight reel and it's There is so much that I move through that you don't see. There are things that I move through that even the closest people in my life don't know. And I would say Zander's the only person that really knows what I move through, but something that a lot of people don't realize is I have been moving through just learning about me. These past, like, This past year and a half, I have been meeting parts of myself I don't like, meeting parts of myself I do like, and again, going back to like the overconsumption and the noise, like, I have spent a lot of time consuming on the internet and like, that got me so far away from myself.

[00:18:01]

For example, when it comes to working out, I love I love, I love Pilates, I love yoga, and I was prioritizing those workouts for a few years now, and my body, like, I don't feel good in my body, even though I kick ass working out, and you guys know earlier this year, I did, I did 75 hard, which was hard, I don't recommend it, you can listen to that episode, and Thanks. It's like what's always worked for me in my life. Like I love cardio. I love running. I am a like I used to identify as a runner and I've stopped running. I used to love going to Orange Theory, HIIT workouts. I used to love explosive type workouts and I've stopped doing those because everything on the motherfucking internet was telling me that high cortisol, it's bad on your joints, that's not good for you, blah, blah, blah.

[00:18:57]

And for a while I was like, yeah, maybe that's right because I'm a business owner too and I happen to get a lot of reels on that in my feed telling me that I probably have high cortisol because I'm a business owner and All these things. Guys, I don't know if I have high cortisol. I, I might. We're going to be testing that next month with my health program that I'm in, , right now with Kale Diagnostics, which has been amazing, by the way, guys. I highly, highly recommend. If you're looking for a personalized health journey, but regardless why I'm saying this is because I have been doing things because Seemingly those are the right things to do now I do think there are fine lines for some things in life Like I think nutrition is pretty cut and dry for the most part I think you know movement in general is pretty cut and dry every person is so individual and no There's no one size fits all approach.

[00:19:51]

I've been talking a lot about this on Instagram and so this past year I have felt like so Disconnected and like I have been you know, trying to do all the right things. I am a diagnosed perfectionist I used to be but what's interesting about my perfectionism that I carry is it's only in certain categories It's not in like everything that I do. It's in its own categories I'll leave it at that. And so for me, I really pride myself on being a good person doing things the right way. That's like a big part of like something that matters to me. And so I've been experimenting. I've always experimented with my health, which I love to do, but it's like, I've gotten away from what I know works with what my body has always spoken to me. And so, like, I'd have moments where I'm going to Pilates, which again, I fucking love Pilates. I love Pilates as a workout. I think it's great. But I would leave Pilates some days and be like, Okay, I feel like I still need to work out, but I don't have time in my day. A lot of people think I have all sorts of time because I own my own business and whatever, but I don't.

[00:20:56]

I have, I have stuff on my calendar all day long. And so I wouldn't be like, I still feel like I need to walk or I need to run or whatever. So anyway, going back to May, I feel like I'm going off on a tangent. When I had this reading and she told me that, This season is about returning to yourself that felt so good to hear I can't even begin to tell you guys how much that hit and resonated in ways that I needed beyond what you can imagine because I think because of the noise and what we see, and maybe you guys even do this listening to my podcast if you follow my lifestyle and want to live my, like, do things that I, the way that I do them in my life, which, again, like, there is a fine line between that where You know, so many of the greatest things in my life that I'm really proud of came from me following someone online that, like, showed me a different way of living. Right? Like, there, there are times where this can be good and times where it can't be good. And so that's why our authority is so important in listening. And so I've gotten away from me. I've gotten away from being a runner, which I always love. That always made me feel good. And trying all these new things that I don't like, like it's, I do, I do like the workouts, but it's not working for me.

[00:22:12]

And I don't feel my best after, and I always leave being like, I wish I just went for a long run right now. And it's like, I've been ignoring that. And even outside of that sense in my business, I'm like, okay, like I should, you know, keep doing the podcast. If I just. sat down and like, you know, pumped it out. It will be good. And that's all I need to do. But my body is saying no. My body is telling me no, now is not the time. And so I know it's not a no forever because ultimately like I do have big visions and dreams for this podcast or a podcast. But And this is not the season of life for me right now, because as I mentioned in the beginning, I'm going to be planning a wedding soon, I'm writing a book, I am building a app, building an app is not just some little thing. It's a huge, huge deal. It's a huge undertaking. And not only that, I have 130, 140, 150, I don't know, somewhere between 130 and 150 students that look up to me and rely on me and want my attention. And I haven't even been able to give my attention fully because of other things that I'm working through personally.

[00:23:26]

And Other things that I've been prioritizing that my body's just like, no. And so there it's draining me and then I'm losing energy throughout my day. So, I'm returning back to me, and it's like, I am, I want so much change right now. I'm craving deep change. I felt this way before, but I'm feeling it in such a different way. The last time I craved change like this was right before I quit my corporate job. And the change that I was craving then was really about I'm craving a bigger life. I'm craving a, you know, huge things. And I'm craving, you know, moving to California and starting a business and doing, working with people. And you know, it was what I, the life that I live now is a night and day difference from the life that I was living when I started to have those thoughts. And now I'm having these big Saturn return life thoughts on, I want to soften, you know, I want to soften around the edges. I want to. I want to have dinner parties with my friends more than I we I do have dinner parties quite often with my friends, but I want to have more of those.

[00:24:39]

I want to slow down. I want to cook again. I want to be in my kitchen more than I am. I want to I want to start a family. I want children. I want to produce life. I want I want intimacy, I want, you know, really close, deep connections in my life. I want to help people in really, really deep ways. I want a home. I no longer want to live in places that I don't like. Which I don't. What I'm referring to is I really like, actually, the city I live in. It doesn't feel like me anymore. I think I've, I've worn it for a while and it's, it's kind of, I've outgrown this outfit. This city. I'm outgrowing it and, , I don't love the place that I'm in right now. The condo we live in. I've outgrown it. I want a home, you know? Like, I just want, I want a yard. I want to be, you know, cooking. Like, I honestly just want to, like, be in that era of my life of just, like, motherhood, making a home, being a homemaker. I still want to do what I do. I want to deepen my spiritual practices to the deepest level and really help people through that.

[00:26:01]

And also, you know, continue to share about human design and use. all the other spiritual modalities that I practice as a psychic medium, which has been really strong for me and it is so much stronger when I settle down or when I slow down, I should say. And the sound healing certification that I just received back in June, which was life changing for me, I want to get really deep into sound. I'm ready to slow the fuck down. And Maybe some of you listening are in that boat too, so that's why I'm feeling called to share. I, I didn't expect to talk about any of this at all. I thought this was gonna be a 10 minute episode, but yeah, I'm really, I'm really just called to settle down in life and to slow down, to soften, to get back into like home decor. When I was a child, I always say, When we're children, those are when we can really see some of our greatest gifts. I've shared a little bit about my childhood before on the podcast, but some things that were really prominent for me as a child were the first being like, I was very into spirituality universe.

[00:27:13]

I wanted to be an astronaut at one point. I wanted to be an artist. That was like the number one thing for a long time. For me, I was really good at art, like exceptionally good for my age. I kind of outgrew it, though, and people, people got better than me, and then I, and I just had, it wasn't something that, again, was lighting me up then, but I am still very artistic and creative. I loved home decor. I loved decorating my Childhood home? My parents, I don't know. The one thing that I will say which I like giggle because I'm like I don't know that I'll ever be this way as a parent because I don't think that I I don't know how that they Let me be this way, but like they always just let me let my freak fly if you will My dad would come home from work and I would have a paint bucket in my bedroom and I'd be painting my room without covering the furniture, without even knowing what the heck I was doing.

[00:28:06]

Like, I would just be painting my bedroom and, and he wouldn't really care and just be like, okay, like, let me move this out of the way. Like, don't get paint on this. I did that probably three times as a kid. I painted my room yellow once. Like I, and I would go to the hardware store and pull up to Lowe's and I would buy myself paint cans that were like 30. Why I did that, I have no idea, but like, that's, those are the things that I'm talking about. Like I would buy new bedding. My dad would come home from work and I would have the living room rearranged. Like I would change the layout of the house. That's what I did as a kid. I loved it. I would change the layout of our basement. That was like a constant in my life. And I would be in the kitchen, and I would be making random recipes, like, I mean, I'm a line, , not a line one, I am a line one, but I'm a, I'm born under gate one, which is the gate of self expression and creativity, and that's who I was. My parents tell this story of me as a kid, where they'd pick me up from school, my dad would pick me up from school, and he'd be like, he'd call my mom and say, What the heck did you let Leah wear to school?

[00:29:13]

Because I'd be wearing things that didn't match. Nothing would go together and I loved it. Like, I felt like my true self. And my mom would go, She's a free spirit. Let her wear what she wants. And, , there's another story of me as a kid where we learned in school that you can make glue with like flour and I don't know, water. I don't even remember what it was. And I was legitimately in young fives, which is basically like before kindergarten, like preschool, essentially. And my mom said one day my backpack was like, I was dragging it and she opens my backpack and I had an entire bag of flour in my backpack. And my mom was like, why do you have a whole thing of flour? And I was like, I learned to make, I learned how to make glue and. So I decided that I was gonna take the flower from home I was gonna bring it to school and we were gonna I was gonna show everyone how to make glue Like I don't know if I saw it on tv or if I learned I don't remember obviously but and that's just the beginning like there are so many stories my mom said there were There would be days where she'd open up my backpack and I would have every single like poly pocket Which was like a little I don't know, it's kind of like Barbie, but like these little miniature dolls.

[00:30:24]

I would bring them on the bus and I would like set up on the bus, like my Polly Pockets. And I would just do these most random, like creative little things. So this whole episode, I'm like, where am I going with this? But really where, what I'm trying to say is like, I'm just returning back to me. I just want to be like my creative most I just want to be my most creative, expressive self, you know? And the other thing as a kid that I was always into, which I talked about this, I think, on the first episode, was I was into astrology. Deeply. I love astrology, mysticism. Like I said, I wanted to be an astronaut. I have this, like, theory that a past life of mine, I was an astronaut. And I think one that, like, I feel as if I was an astronaut that I have a fear of flying and I think that something maybe happened to me while in that field.

[00:31:18]

I'm not 100 percent sure, but I don't know, that kind of hit me one day and it felt like, I don't know. I just, I, it feels something feels really, , true about that in my bones. So , yeah, I have this like love for universal things and understanding quantum physics and astrology and how all of those things are interconnected. And I think the sound healing training I took really deepened that for me and reminded me. So I'm ready to return to my roots. And as far as the design of you as a whole goes, Nothing is going anywhere. I love human design. Human design is one of the my favorite mediums that I'm very proud of myself And I'm very I'm very proud of the design of you and what I've built and what we are continuing to build I love this. This is I'm very proud of myself and I don't take enough time to tell myself that. I'm always looking at the next thing and I'm always, you know, thinking about what could be done better or differently or things like that. And last night Zander and I went on like a 45 minute walk and I was telling him, you know, what I'm working on and what, what plans I have.

[00:32:30]

And I was kind of venting and he's like, you don't give yourself enough credit, Leah. You don't give yourself enough credit for What you've built and the time that you've built it and what you've done and I was telling him how I'm gonna be announcing that I'm gonna stop this I think that came as a shock to him and my dad called me last night and I told him he was like oh I haven't caught up on your podcast and he's like I don't listen to all your human design related episodes, but I love you know listening to you talk and blah blah blah and Thank you, dad. I know you're gonna listen to this too, so thank you for that. But, you know, I, I don't give myself enough credit, but at the end of the day, like, I still feel like it's not everything that I want it to be right now. And so, I don't know, it's just like this pause of saying I'm proud of myself, I'm proud of this podcast and what I have built. We have, I mean, over 50, 000 downloads. I'm actually gonna pull up the stats right now. We're, I mean, global, we're in top 100 pretty much every, every week we are in top 100 across the globe in different countries in the category of spirituality, not overall, which would be amazing. I mean, I'm pulling up the stats right now, let's see.

[00:33:37]

Yeah, we're at 54, , 55, 000 downloads of all time. You know, my top episodes are all the energy type ones, and then the one I did with my friend Kaylee on human design for business and new paradigm. And, yeah, I mean, truly, like, I'm, I'm very proud and thank you if you're still here and you've listened to every episode, and if you haven't, I mean, they're, they're, they're not outdated, you know, go listen to them, they're great, you can hear parts of my life, and I'm really proud of, again, what we've built here, and I, I don't think this is forever with the podcast, because I do have big dreams, but it just is right now, and, you know, That's what, that's what it's going to be. Part of me feels like I may Release episodes maybe a few times a year when I have big things going on or when I feel like it or something shows Up for me, but I don't think that that time is or I don't I don't know. I don't know when I don't know we'll just see if over the next few months or the next year if there's like a an event or maybe I don't know a launch or something and I get the buzz to jump on my podcast That I will Do that i'll jump on here and I will record an episode and I'll get that out to you But right now i'm just not feeling it And so that's a wrap a long way of saying that all but I figured i'd just share where i'm at on a personal level And I hope that some of you guys can relate if you do, please send me a dm I love feeling like i'm not the only one on on this planet that feels these types of ways, but Yeah, I'm just, I'm outgrowing a lot, I'm changing, I'm softening.

[00:35:21]

By the way, if you're into astrology, my Saturn return is in Pisces, but I believe that it is very much tied to to what I've explained like returning to my roots and Motherhood and things like that. So it's just a new version of me I'm walking into or I'm on the brink of walking into so Again, like just really focused on finishing up some of these really big projects that I have happening bts behind the scenes, but you guys all know and you know, putting those out into the world and those being my primary focus. And then once that feels like it's, I guess the analogy that I was thinking of is like, once that feels like it's on the shelf, or once that feels like it's Somewhere, it's good and it lives and it breathes and I tend to that living thing, like I do HDM, like I have my guidebooks, like I will with the app. Those will be, those will be big pillars for me. And then, you know, if those feel like in a really good spot and I have a hold on it, then maybe I'll bring a podcast back and maybe again, maybe I'll just jump in at some point throughout the next couple of years and drop an episode, but I have truly no idea.

[00:36:35]

I'm gonna go with the flow of my energy. It doesn't have to be logical. It doesn't have to make sense. It just has to be, it has to feel spacious. And so if you are listening and you are like, You know, I'm going to speak from a generator because I don't think this feels the same way for all energy types. It might, but for me as a generator, and this also can apply to manifesting generators, for me, the best course of action for me is always the one that feels the most spacious. So if there's anything in your life that you are in an in between on, you have to make a decision on, and you're either like, You don't know yet. If you're a sacral authority or gut feelings, it should be relatively instant, but again, like if you are still not comfortable with what that sounds like or what that feels like, my number one advice is what is spacious? What is space? Where, where is the space going? What feels, where there's, where's their spaciousness?

[00:37:30]

If you can think of, This direction or this direction which one feels like a little bit more of a there's a block and what one feels like there's space It's like you close your eyes and you feel like doors open you feel your soul feel at ease Which are the things which decision allows you to feel more of that? And so for me the podcast feels like the former of it feels like knots it feels like all that I'm in I walk into a room and I'm thinking of that scene in I almost just said Cinderella, not Cinderella. Alice in Wonderland, where she's like in the room and there are all the doors and she gets to choose the door to go to, it's like, you walk into a room and I just see doors slammed, like, d d d d d, like, all the doors just start slamming, and I'm like, Oh, I thought that I was walking, I thought that I was gonna go in one of these directions towards the podcast, and each door maybe is like, Hiring a podcast manager, turning your office into a studio, start posting on YouTube, or Start a new Instagram for the podcast.

[00:38:31]

I don't know. I'm just coming up with each one Maybe they're all like, you know different things you could be doing with that But ultimately the room is like the podcast. I walk into that room and everything's like no, no, no, no It's like get out of here. It's like you're not welcome here. And then I walk into a room That's like no more podcast and all of a sudden the doors like open breeze open and like I see trees and air flows in and it like Catches my hair and I can feel like the hair on my skin like Not stand up, but just like the breeze just caresses over me and I take a big deep sip of air and a breath in and i'm like This feels really nice. This feels like really satisfying. I might actually I might, I might sit on the ground and, or maybe I might walk through that door and it looks like there's a really nice patch of grass and I'm gonna lay there and I'm gonna just roll around and feel the ground and How exciting and now I'm in this garden of possibility and we'll see where life takes me.

[00:39:36]

That's how my, that's how it goes It feels to me. Okay, I'm going to end it here. I'm already about 40 so minutes in. But I want to just give a quick few announcements for things that I do have going on. If you want to get excited and maybe just pay attention, get a little bit more You know familiar with the instagram if you were, you know, not typically there or maybe you're more here than there First and foremost my next live round of human design mastery. So that is going to be taking place in september I'm finalizing the dates right now, but stay tuned to my newsletter, which you can join my newsletter below I don't send a bunch of emails during launch. I will so, you know, just Hang tight, but otherwise like it may be fun to subscribe in the past join there That's where I'm gonna be sharing probably more of my bigger updates, but we have a live round coming up So if you have been interested in learning human design for me to become a reader or to just learn human design for you Like your life, that is the place that you will want to join.

[00:40:39]

That's the place you'll want to be human design mastery. It's phenomenal. I have been deep into making all the updates and I'm so freaking excited about it. Like there are so many amazing, good things coming with HTM. You guys have no idea. Like it's, it's next level. And honestly. Of the hundred and almost fifty students in there, I get the best, best, best feedback. You guys love it. You guys are excited about it. I have heard time and time again, it's one of the, it is the best human design course you've taken. Which, I personally feel that way. I'm biased. But I've taken a lot of human design courses, and I love what I've built in HDM. I love it so much. It's so good and it's only getting better and better, but we've just made some big changes in a good way. Like added new content based on feedback that you guys provided. We've added new weekly little tips and resources, study tips. We've added all new quizzes. We've added just more robust information in depth information. Like we go into animal charts, sleeping charts, dream rave. You don't even know what those are.

[00:41:49]

You'll love it. Connection charts, parenting, we dive into new paradigm, and then obviously all the things in human design from energy type all the way down to the variables, digestion, strongest sense, all 192 incarnation crosses. Gate lines. I mean it gets really in depth and it's it's amazing. So I would love to Have you all there because that's where you can really connect with me We have a beautiful online community and I am planning to at some point soon, which is another project that's in the works is just breaking down hdm into smaller bite sized courses that you can buy That are you know less expensive than what hdm is But ultimately like it'll be exactly what you get you would get in hdm And it will be a better deal like you kind of get the bundle of literally everything that I create inside of that course But again, that will just be up to Up to what people want, right? So you'll So hopefully soon there will be that available. So if you like wanted to dive into digestion, you'll be able to buy a small course on that. And then, but if you're like, I want digestion and all the energy types and everything else in human design, a new paradigm, then just hop into HTM because then you get a community and it's great. So that's that, and, , I'd love to have you guys in this next live round, again it'll begin in September, it'll probably be the second week in September, we're just trying to figure out what day of the week works best for people, I think I might start doing Sundays, which, I don't know yet, because I I have always wanted to keep my weekends my weekends, but a lot of you guys are desiring a Sunday And so I might just do that because I think that you know It'll be something new for me to try out and I think that you guys will really enjoy it So there's that but we'll see and then I obviously again the app which will come early 2025 no official dates don't even know if it'll for sure be Q1 I'm aiming for Q1.

[00:43:43]

Oh, important, important update. By the end of August, guidebooks, the price of guidebooks are increasing. So, a million of you, not a million, there's like over 3, 000 of you. Maybe almost 4, 000 now. People have the personalized guidebooks that we create. They're amazing. I get the best feedback on them. They're great gifts. They're great. We have gift cards, too, if you don't know someone's birth time. But if you do, you can buy one immediately. Or just send them a gift card. You guys love it. It's over 100 pages written uniquely about you based on your human design and I know a lot of human design Practitioners sell similar things, but I'm telling you what, I think mine are pretty great, and that was, that is one of the, my most favorite things that I've ever created. And so, yeah, those are increasing, and we're increasing the price because, because of, What I just said, the, the value's really great. There are more pages than pretty much any other guide that I've seen exist, and the ones that I do know that exist right now are a lot more expensive than mine. Most are about 100, if not more, and mine are 77, and so we're going to be increasing the price to 99 at the end of this month on August 31st.

[00:44:58]

So, If you would like one now is a good time to get it so that you get that discount Or it's not a discount, but you get this price while it's still here before we increase that and again It's just because of the value of them and you know the market and I just feel like it's I I need to charge What they're worth now, you know, it's just a evolving sort of thing. So that's where i'm at with that and We have more readers that are going to be posted on our reader directory. So if you go to my website You , which we'll link down below. You can book a reading with me still, which I will be also discontinuing at some point here very soon. I go through phases, like sometimes I will for a while, like I did for, I don't know, like five months last year and then I brought it back. So, I don't know. I'm, again, just going to flow with where it feels spacious, but I, that one is starting to feel like, Again, I've got a lot happening, so I think that might be a place that I need to take a step back. But we've got all of my in house trained readers that are phenomenal. And if you join HDM, by the way, you have a chance to become a reader on our website.

[00:45:59]

There's a lot of amazing Women who have they have gone through and they've become readers and they have generated like another form of income I had one of the readers in my program Tell me that like she said she said to me you have changed my family's life By allowing me to be listed on your website and that moved me in ways that I can't even explain so if you'd like to book a human design reading, go ahead and check that out. We have, again, more readers joining there. And then, yeah, so that is everything. And then, of course, my book! I was like, I'm forgetting something. My book, which is coming out the fall of next year, I don't really have any updates other than I'm writing it, and it will be out in 2025. I don't have a date or anything because it just depends on how the next year goes, but it'll be great. So, Chronicle Books. And then, is there any other updates that I can't think of right now? Oh, you guys probably saw that I'm coming out with a new course called Aligned Life, and that is on pause. That is on pause. I was aiming for this summer. That was another lesson on authority. My business coach, who I adore, was actually kind of pushing me.

[00:47:10]

Which that's what coaches are supposed to do towards creating the like a new offering based on I guess a gap we felt like there was and I was like, I agree. And so I started building it. I was really excited about it. But then again, the energy just felt spacious. It didn't feel like the right time. It didn't feel like the space I needed. And so that will return. When no idea but hopefully sooner rather than later. Those are all of the updates I am going to leave you guys to it. I'm recording this on a saturday, but i've just been in a work portal so but yeah, I think i'm gonna just i'm gonna head out and Yeah, thank you guys for being here and supporting me and just like rolling with me on this solopreneur life I oftentimes feel like I have to again be perfect. I have to have it all together And I absolutely don't it doesn't have to be anything other than what it is and who I am. And so that's the beautiful thing about, you know, entrepreneurship. So, okay. I'm going to just pause there and I love you guys and I will see you on Instagram and maybe again here someday, but. It's ta ta for now.