EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT MANIFESTING GENERATORS IN HUMAN DESIGN WITH NATALIA BENSON
EPISODE #9: EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT manifesting GENERATORS IN HUMAN DESIGN WITH natalia benson
In this episode, Leah continues the Human Design Energy Type Series with an episode dedicated to Manifesting Generators. She shares all of the following:
02:56 What is a Manifesting Generator
09:48 What should more people know about being a Manifesting Generator?
14:08 Manifesting Generator strategy
27:24 Healing as a Manifesting Generator
Then we bring on spiritual business strategist, money mentor, and intuitive astrologer, Natalia Benson, to talk about her experience as a Manifesting Generator. Natalia is such an aligned Mani Gen.
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RESOURCES MENTIONED:
The Method - enrolling for 1:1 clients
Natalia's info
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:
Follow Leah on Instagram @thedesignofyou
Book a reading with Leah
Intro/Outro song is 6am by Young Mooski
EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:34]
Leah: What's up guys. I am here to record another episode of the energy type series. And I'm so excited for today's episode. It's all about manifesting generators. And so if you listen to last week's episode, which was all about generators, this one's all about manifesting generators. And we're going to talk about the differences of the two, what it means to be a manifesting generator.
[00:00:57]
Leah: And then I bring on my all time favorite, just manifesting generator ever. So Natalia Benson is who I bring on. I, if you don't know who that is, she is a spiritual business coach. And I found her through someone I used to work for and it's just a serendipitous sort of experience where I have been listening to her podcast literally every single week and following her and she's just someone who has made a massive difference in my life and I was so honored to be able to Be able to interview her so you'll hear me basically confess my absolute love for her throughout the episode but yeah, so I am so honored to Just have her on and then just talk about what it means to be a manifesting generator And what you'll find as we're talking through Natalia is the just definition of a manifesting generator through and through so So yeah, so I am so honored to just honored, blessed, excited to get this episode going.
[00:02:07]
Leah: All right, guys, we have Natalia Benson here, who is just someone I deeply admire. I'm honestly just blown away. She's even on the podcast. I was just telling her how much I just am obsessed with her. I've honestly just been a part of her community for so long now. It just feels so cool to actually sit down and chat with her, but she is such an embodiment of a manifesting generator.
[00:02:32]
Leah: So I'm so excited to hear kind of Natalia's experience. So Natalia, tell us a little bit about you and your experience with being a manifesting generator and just honestly tell us everything.
[00:02:44]
Natalia: Okay. Thank you so much for having me, babe. I'm so honored to be with you and Well, first, , I remember when I first started hearing about han design, it was probably 10 years ago.
[00:02:56]
Natalia: , I think I had my first reading when I was maybe , , maybe, I don't know, 25. , it was a while ago. And I always thought it was so cool that I was called a manifesting generator. Only did I realize what that actually means, literally six months ago. So I feel this has been in my sphere for so long.
[00:03:16]
Natalia: And I used to have people, especially in my twenties, be , you need to focus on one thing. They'd shame me for being multi passionate and it would . Confuse them and confront them. And, you know, basically how I started when I was 19. I say this in air quotes, but I had a spiritual awakening of sorts.
[00:03:37]
Natalia: I recognized myself as a soul and not just , A mind body. , that was also the year that I started my first business, ironically. And I had a jewelry line and I had that jewelry line from about 19 until I think about the age of 27. So I had it for a really long time. And basically over the years of having that jewelry line and also working on myself spiritually.
[00:04:05]
Natalia: Healing from drug and alcohol addiction from my early twenties, I just became very, very passionate and obsessed with being an inspiration to others through whatever medi that I was using that led me to jewelry, to Kundalini yoga, to music, to consulting. I mean, I did. So many things in my twenties.
[00:04:31]
Natalia: It was kind of just crazy, but all the while I struggled so much with money. I'm still working on money stuff all the time. I'm a money and business teacher and it's still my deepest lesson. It's the place I'm always committed to really learning. Becoming the best version of myself, but in my twenties, I was exploring all these different avenues of business, but all the while I was really, really attempting to heal, really attempting to heal my relationship to money, what I didn't know at the time, , heal my relationship to scarcity and the scarcity in my nervous system.
[00:05:06]
Natalia: So that all leads me to around the age of 30, 31, where. You know, I'd never probably made more than 30, 000 a year in one of my businesses. I just never had really experienced the financial success. I'd felt the fulfillment of doing ninth child, my music project, I'd felt the fulfillment of doing jewelry and also the extreme hardship of having a product business.
[00:05:32]
Natalia: But then at 31, I just had a line in the sand moment where I was , what the heck am I doing? And Who am I? And , how do I really move forward? And that was the year that I'm shortening the story so much. But that was the year that I took my astrology and tarot, which has been something that I've done, you know, all throughout my twenties, kind of as a hobby and something that I shared with others as a means of healing.
[00:06:01]
Natalia: I took a business rooted in spiritual offerings and I scaled it. The six figures very quickly and I felt it was just all of these different things with my business now It is my relationship to my soul It's my passion for financial empowerment It's my obsession with entrepreneurship and conscious business owners And also music is in there too so it's funny how this business now and the success that i've experienced through it And the fulfillment, it's nothing that anyone could have told me was even possible, but I feel I really am a manifestation, so to speak, of that mani gen energy of just being multi passionate and trusting those hunches because it took me a little while, but later on down the line.
[00:06:53]
Natalia: It all really came together and you know, I'm continuing to grow, , everything that I do, but now essentially I'm a conscious business strategist, money mentor. I'm a DJ and producer podcaster. , how many dead is that? , what don't I do?
[00:07:10]
Leah: Honestly, no, and that's exactly why I think you're such a perfect embodiment because I've literally used you as an example to some manifesting generators because it is so limiting for them to hear, , everyone says that I should just do one thing, and I see other people do one thing, and it feels they figured it out, and I'm , Yeah, but what if you did all of the things that you were curious about every single moment and then at some point in your life, you see how all of these things link together.
[00:07:34]
Leah: And so I use you as an example, because I've seen you and heard you because I listen to her podcast all the time is , talk about you've had this jewelry business and then you were an astrologer. And wasn't there a point where you did social media at some point in there?
[00:07:47]
Natalia: Yeah. , I mean, my twenties were just so helter skelter.
[00:07:51]
Natalia: , I can't even believe I survived. that's actually been a lot of the healing, you know, I'm turning 36 and two weeks, which is just bonkers. But I look back on the decade of my twenties and I'm just , How did I do it? So really the need, I was living in Los Angeles, very high price city and the drive that I had to do well and figure out a way to make it work.
[00:08:17]
Natalia: Cause I loved living there so much that really drove me in some interesting directions. And social media was one of them. I always just looked at , what am I good at doing and what am I already doing for myself? And then I've just found a way to , Transition not into something that I could monetize and that's mainly what I work with women on and especially conscious or soulful women is , how do you , take what you're just what you feel drawn by and turn it into something.
[00:08:46]
Natalia: And then I think the manage and, and this is very Aries. too. But I think it's also you don't have to be married to it forever. It's you can evolve it. So yeah, the social media consulting was funny, but I started to make a little bit of money doing that. But again, I had no idea how to run a business.
[00:09:02]
Natalia: So a lot of these things were very flash in the pan. Cause I just didn't know how to be consistent with how to run a business yet.
[00:09:10]
Leah: And how cool is it now? Because you now are, you know, this business coach really, and you do all sorts of work with people and you. Take all of these experiences that you had.
[00:09:20]
Leah: And , I've seen you DJ at, you know, different business events that you do. So it's all these passions at some point, they all come together. And then, you know, they're kind of flavors of everything that you do. And so, I don't know, I always just encourage any manifesting generators listening.
[00:09:33]
Leah: if there's something that you love to do, just follow that. And, you know, if there's a point where, you know, you decide that this isn't the thing that you want to do anymore, then, okay, that's fine. Then now follow the next thing. And then you never know what's going to kind of come and sneak back around or mold with something else that you're doing.
[00:09:48]
Leah: What is something that you feel more people need to know about being a manifesting generator?
[00:09:55]
Natalia: , I just feel so grateful to be in this space with you right now because it's even more obviously I pay very strong attention to astrology. I'm very much a beginner when it comes to understanding human design, but I have to say in the space that I've had of getting to know this a little bit more, I feel the liberator is .
[00:10:19]
Natalia: We get to do all of the things and not perceive ourselves as flaky. Or inconsistent, but rather follow our passion or , as Marie Kondo says, what does she say about lighting up your joy or something sparking joy? I think about that all the time. I'm really passionate about home home organization.
[00:10:43]
Natalia: I have never made a candle, but I'm really passionate about, I would , I'm obsessed with sense. You heard it here first. that'll be my next thing is a candle shop. I love stuff that, but I feel just the getting to know, how to honor what we feel drawn to and not judge it. I feel as I'm getting a little bit older and I've had more time just with myself, that's been such a liberator for me and getting to know You know, Aaron, , who's one of my best friends, , Aaron Claire Jones, she has actually given me multiple human design readings, essentially a client of hers.
[00:11:23]
Natalia: And it was really funny because it wasn't until the second or third reading when she talked about the sake role that I was , Oh, no wonder I'm burning out all the time. No wonder. I'm just , have no energy for things because I've been ignoring this core part of me. That's actually the most brilliant, guide that I could ever have.
[00:11:46]
Natalia: essentially, I guess my intuition embodied through that sacral response. And I think just what I would want another Manny gen to know is , number one, our multi. Passionate energy is a gift to other people. when I don't judge my, I stopped judging myself for that a long time ago. And I can see, and I have the deep privilege and fulfillment of getting to experience how it impacts other people, whether they're going to do things exactly me or not, it doesn't matter.
[00:12:19]
Natalia: But it's just that willingness to be , wow, this lights me up. I'm passionate about it. , as I mentioned, when I got started with business, you know, my core drive was to connect and to inspire most of all. And I just think that that's . What we have to stay committed to because, because of that safe girl, I know that we can have a bit of superhuman energy at times.
[00:12:44]
Natalia: And that is , that's a gift. there's, I actually just ran my first business retreat last weekend. I did the whole thing myself and I was , I wasn't even tired after I was , I just planned the whole thing. I had so much fun and I just realized that was a calling card. For me, my deeper wisdom, when you feel activated, that's your yes and you can freaking make anything happen.
[00:13:10]
Natalia: And I used to kind of, I think I read this recently that managements have to be careful not to be manifestors. Have you ever heard of this? Yep. Oh yeah. And I've, I was finding for a couple of years, even just the last few years, I was trying to be in that energy and it was not working out in a lot of different ways.
[00:13:29]
Natalia: And I think just owning me being me and getting to know, how. This is my system works. It's just been such as I said the word, but just just liberating and just fully letting me be me. And it might be spastic to some people, but if they understand human design, then they'll just let me be me.
[00:13:50]
Leah: Yeah, 100%. That's the beauty of it. It's , not only does human design give you the gift of understanding yourself, but if you look up the chart of anyone in your life, then you have an understanding of them. And so I think it's so cool that You were able to just kind of accept that about yourself and just move forward with it.
[00:14:08]
Leah: And as far as, , the manifesto piece goes, basically all types try to be manifestos because. Every single type is supposed to wait for something besides manifestor. So your strategy is to wait to respond. That's the same for generators. Projectors wait for an invitation. Reflectors wait a 28 day lunar cycles.
[00:14:25]
Leah: Manifestors are to initiate, to inform and initiate and to go. And so every other person is , We live in this world that's , go after it, go get it, you know, push. And so we try and do that. And then we keep pushing up against the grain of our energy. Whereas , when you just lean into being a generator or manifesting generator, it's just what if I just responded and trusted that, , the universe is going to drop in all of the things that are meant for me.
[00:14:48]
Leah: And it's just up to me to go. What's lighting me up right now? That's in front of me. what feels exciting to me in this moment? And , what can I do towards that and just respond to it rather than forcing something that's not even existing in my current, you know, reality. So. Wow.
[00:15:04]
Natalia: That's so, that's so, it's so funny because two of my best friends are manifestors and I spend the most time with both of them, which is interesting.
[00:15:12]
Natalia: And, but at the same time, it's , I feel in the moments of my life, when I look back, you know, with, even with my music, my music career and my work with that, it's really interesting. I remember sitting down. At my old altar in one of my apartments in L. A. I tell this story sometimes, such a Manny Jens story.
[00:15:36]
Natalia: But I literally would sit down and I would just be , I'm gonna just envision myself opening for Odessa. Never happened. Opened for other really big acts. Just spoiler alert. But it was , I got my energy really activated that way. But instead of going out and pushing and trying to get people to book me, I just sat back mostly because I was intimidated, but I sat back and I just started learning how to DJ and I, or not sat back, I sat back and waited for people to find me.
[00:16:05]
Natalia: But most of all, I just started to teach myself. To DJ and I got really guided that way and yeah, that ended up, you know, I just picked up my music again very recently, but I really was at it for about five years and played massive festivals open for one of the biggest electronic music artists. He's no, he got canceled sadly, but he, , it was a very, it was a beautiful base nectar.
[00:16:31]
Leah: Oh, I don't follow it enough. Oh my gosh. That's so cool that my friend in college was the biggest, what was it a base? I was
[00:16:37]
Natalia: too. Yeah. I totally was too. And I was playing at a festival and he actually was there and you know, and it was my 19 year old dream to , Have someone that I had, , love their music so much for.
[00:16:51]
Natalia: So yeah, that was a really special experience. Very unfortunate for the choices that he made, but
[00:16:56]
Leah: I don't know about, I gotta look it up.
[00:16:58]
Natalia: You gotta look it up. It's pretty crazy, but, but strangely, you know, Speaking about that sacral response, I, the last show I ever played was for him and with a bunch of other artists in San Francisco in 2018.
[00:17:14]
Natalia: And that night when I got done playing that show, I was so drained of energy. I could. It was really, it was really bad. , I was , wow, something's weird. And I remember I was dating someone and I told them later and they were , that's a really weird response to playing one of the biggest shows of your life.
[00:17:32]
Natalia: And you feel drained and sad after. And not long after that, I ended up walking away from my music for a couple of years. I left my manager and I let that dream go. And then in 2020, that's when everything came to light. And imagine if I had pushed through that. And told myself, no, this is what you've always wanted and you have this opportunity, but I didn't, I trusted that.
[00:17:56]
Natalia: And then later on, you know, by 2020, I'd already had this iteration of my business, which was doing extremely well and was really needed during that time as well. It was a, it was a medi for me to show up. And if I'd still been pushing with my electronic music career, not only was the main person helping me.
[00:18:17]
Natalia: Did they lose their career? But in addition to that, there were no shows. There was nothing going on. So just almost in the other direction, I feel I really got that. The times in my life where I've trusted this response has created the most magnificent. And seemingly miraculous outcomes, both for the yeses and the noes.
[00:18:39]
Natalia: So it's, that's a big example. I've never shared that before, actually, which is
[00:18:43]
Leah: interesting. I love that so much because it's even so a lot of times when people learn their human design, they'll try and fit themselves into it. And I always say , don't try and fit yourself into anything. Just witness this in your life and go back and go.
[00:18:58]
Leah: What parts of myself are getting in the way of me actually leaning into this way. You don't have to fit yourself into anything. You just have to come back home to yourself and unbecome. And so it's so cool when we look back and we see stories where it's , I wasn't, you know, lit up, my sacred wasn't lit up by this thing anymore.
[00:19:12]
Leah: And so then I decided to pivot. And then at the time I didn't know that that was my secret response, but now I look back and go, Oh yeah, that, that, you know, that was your secret response kind of, you know, leading you and guiding you. That's so cool. And I have to say you're a one three, right? Yeah. Okay. So, so much of what you said is also just been such 1, 3 energy because I heard you say at some point you talked about , you know, you're still learning how to manage money and do things that you teach because you'll never stop.
[00:19:41]
Leah: And so that's a classic 1 line just being someone who wants to. You know, have a really strong foundation of knowledge and continue to learn and dive into all the studying. And then I also felt a lot of the three was coming through because the three is really about trial and error and making mistakes and learning kind of through experience.
[00:19:58]
Leah: And I always joke threes learn the hard way. It's . They want to get in and they're , I'm going to, you know, try this and it's not going to work. And so it's, this isn't probably the easiest way to learn, but it's the way that I have to, , so that kind of tied with your, one energy is , I'm going to research it.
[00:20:13]
Leah: I'm going to experience, I'm going to do all these things and just see what happens. And so it's just a cool, honestly, I love observing the one threes in general, but manifesting generators tying that all together. It's just really cool to kind of observe that play out in your, in your life and hear it directly from you.
[00:20:28]
Natalia: That’s so cool. Yeah. Oh my God. , I feel human design, astrology, it gives you just deeper permission to be not only be yourself, but also be human. It's getting to look at all the nuances of , what make you, you. So yeah.
[00:20:44]
Leah: I love that. Yeah, I say that all the time too. it's , how can we be more human?
[00:20:49]
Leah: Sometimes I think that we obsess over , and I do this too, because I'm such a spiritual junkie, but it's , we get so tied up into what we were before, what we're going to be after. And, you know, but it's , what are we here? , how can we be humans on this earth? So as far as human design goes, I'm curious, because you're a spiritual business mentor, , where do you see the human design being involved with business?
[00:21:13]
Natalia: You know, I did a post a couple of years ago because I wanted to just, I'm probably actually going to repurpose this at some point, but I just wanted to share why I'm passionate about entrepreneurship because I've seen what it's done for me. As I said, I really struggled with money in my twenties and I was doing the astrology and tarot thing as a side sort of way to heal myself.
[00:21:36]
Natalia: And then also I would do little events and. I used to retail on top of a hotel, but I feel the wellness industry as it is now was not in existence. , especially, I mean, I don't even want to say especially, but in Los Angeles, it was almost , yeah, people were drawn by this stuff. But I feel I have just witnessed a boom of all of this kind of work, human design healing.
[00:22:07]
Natalia: I mean, I get this, everything astrology, tarot, look at a tarot, YouTube. It's just these, these modalities have gained so much traction, which is such a gift they have, but it has to be used obviously with respect and with honor to the systems themselves. And what I feel so strongly about entrepreneurship is.
[00:22:30]
Natalia: It's a neutral tool. This was what my post was about is that entrepreneurship and business and even money are neutral tools. And what I find so exciting is , let's say with human design, specifically, you can utilize the medium of business, the medium of the internet, and you can help. People understand themselves and also, here's what I always say when it comes to content, you can consume my free content all day long.
[00:23:00]
Natalia: You can go to the podcast, you can do Instagram, whatever, but I know the way that I'm going to most help you transform is in a deeper, , sort of a deeper. Opportunity to work together over a period of time. To me, that's the magic of spiritual business is we get to use the medi of entrepreneurship and create offers, create experiences.
[00:23:28]
Natalia: Create opportunities for people to invest in their own self awareness and for people to invest in their own healing. And so what I would say, I mean, some of the most successful business owners I know, they're, they're, they have human design as a framework. I see how much I've been able to grow, , with astrology as my framework, but of course.
[00:23:52]
Natalia: , This is, I think, just something always important to speak into, but it's so important how we honor the systems that we're teaching. I think sometimes people get in a hurry and they don't want to work a corporate job, which I can fully honor and understand. I didn't either, but they'll rush into things and try to rush the process of.
[00:24:13]
Natalia: Of learning or really mastering something and you don't have to be perfect to be in business or perfect to have an offering But you really because I definitely haven't been at all But you do have to be from my perspective and my my opinion and how I guide my women You do have to be devoted to understanding the system and the framework that you're teaching.
[00:24:35]
Natalia: And the women that I see who really are rocking, Erin being one of them, they really just have this devotion over time of really understanding the system and being able to share and. Explain it from a place of, you know, wisdom and embodiment. And I think that when business is used in that way, no matter the modality that you're using, whether human design or whatever, it's just pretty magnificent what can happen.
[00:25:02]
Natalia: And that's why I. Freaking love teaching business. I'm a Capricorn ascendant in astrology and Capricorn is very business oriented. And I never really, you know, when I was younger and I was kind of all over the place, I never associated with that Capricorn ascendant. I thought it was weird. I was very in my Aries energy, but getting older and just ascending into that ascendant as Deborah Silverman says, I literally have just found a way to.
[00:25:32]
Natalia: Express this deep yearning that I have for spiritual businesses to become really stabilized and really successful because our success means that more people are getting these tools and that is why coming back to exhibit a it's so important about the intentionality and the devotion to really being embodied in the subject that you're offering through your business.
[00:25:56]
Leah: Yeah, I love that so much because I still feel I'm a younger business owner and, you know, something that I feel I've prided myself in is taking people along the journey, whereas with human design. At one point, I was , I'm a human, I'm the human design expert. And then I was , I'm not really the expert.
[00:26:14]
Leah: And I had to, you know, kind of remove that from myself. And for a lot of reasons, I definitely am an expert in some ways because I, I am obsessed with it. I live a lot about human design, probably more than a lot of people. Most the most average person would know. I love what you were saying because it's , I've taken people along this journey.
[00:26:32]
Leah: So even if you want to, , say you want to become a human design reader, you want to do terror, you want to do astrology. And you want to start tomorrow and leave your job. It's , you can do that, but just take people along the journey with you of what you're learning and how you're learning it. And then people can involve with your expertise or what you're kind of the knowledge that you're gaining.
[00:26:48]
Leah: I think you're so right where people will jump the gun and they want to be , well, I want to be the expert. And it's , that's great. to have that vision and that place that you're trying to manifest, but, you know, still go along the journey and master whatever it is that you're wanting to become.
[00:27:02]
Leah: And just bring people with you and they'll want your products and services and offers as you deliver them through whatever stage you're at. So that's such a good way.
[00:27:12]
Natalia: Yeah, it's funny. I feel I just did a post about kind of this this morning, and it's, it's really magnificent what we can create when we actually focus on something.
[00:27:24]
Natalia: It's pretty amazing. And I love the idea. I feel that's really been my journey is, you know, that's why I mentioned that about not being perfect because it wasn't I was a full blown person. Astrologer when I started reading people's charts, but I was up front about that. And I was able to be , Hey, I'm learning.
[00:27:45]
Natalia: And , can I practice with you? And then by the time, you know, everything kind of caught up between social media and. Things that I've been doing over the years. It was , I was ready for the, even now, just for the amount of, I don't know, energy, it's, it's a lot of energy to serve, , a community, but it's the best, , but it's , I just think now, .
[00:28:11]
Natalia: I used to be in such a hurry and I was so afraid that I wasn't gonna make it to where I was going And it's so funny. I don't even know how I used to think that way, but I think it's because I was struggling and I was Tired of struggling and , I wanted to move quicker But I don't know you just see I also believe so strongly that we're guided by something, you know, whether you want to call it the universe or God or whatever word works, but we are really guided by some very beautiful, powerful, loving intelligence that knows so much more than our own logic.
[00:28:50]
Natalia: And I just think leaning into that, to me, my willingness to trust my sacral response to me is my willingness to trust that higher Divine wisdom that is not only embodied in me, but it's present for everyone and we all have our own unique way of connecting to it. But that's been big.
[00:29:11]
Natalia: Cause I used to just be , it's all on me and I don't have any support and it's all on me. And now I feel over the years, really over the last few years, I've just gotten really so much more in touch with the. non physical universe and just understanding that there's a divinity that guides and I think that astrology, human design, tarot, all of these different things, they are reminding us to tune into that wisdom and not just be in the fear mind.
[00:29:44]
Natalia: Yeah, I think there's so much power in that.
[00:29:46]
Leah: Yeah, there is so much that I, I can just keep talking about all of this because I am, I think that that's one of the greatest lessons that I've had as being a business owner is that there is, I always say it's becoming a business owner is doing the deepest work that you could have ever, you never probably imagined when you were , I just want to do when I was , I just want to do human design.
[00:30:10]
Leah: That's what I want to do. Right. But I never imagined the amount of , Confronting things that I would deal with in my own life. , why don't I, you know, wait, you think of , okay, the perfect scenario of what I need to do to make my business a reality. And it's , you think of that.
[00:30:24]
Leah: And then you're , but why can't I do that? , why can't I show up in these ways? And so you start to confront parts of yourself, what is my relationship with money? What is my relationship with my past? What is my relationship with working and hustling? what are these relationships that I've built that are so layered that have.
[00:30:42]
Leah: Drawn me away. And actually, I want to tell you too. I'm just sitting here. Natalia is just on my podcast for me to tell for me to tell her how much I love her, but I'm here for it. But I, , so this smer I had a really crazy experience and my pod people who have listened to my podcast. I know this because I've talked about it quite a bit, but I had this experience where I was at a retreat.
[00:31:05]
Leah: , but prior to the retreat was a manifestation retreat. I got invited to go for the day. And, , the day before I was in this place, it was , it was a Sunday retreat and this was a Saturday night and I was home by myself. My boyfriend used to work nights. So he was gone. And so it was just kind of , I was doing your YouTube money manifestations or, or healing money, healing, you have a whole page.
[00:31:27]
Leah: This was just this past summer. I remember sobbing, I, there was at one point where I was going deep into it and I was . And so, , when it would be slow at work, a lot of times I will text Zander. That's my boyfriend. I'll text him and , we'll talk while he's at work. And I remember texting him from my computer and just , literally, , having a meltdown and , realizing so much about, , my ties to money and , my history and , where things are, , why I do certain things and why I'm , You know, not being able to heal this traa or this relationship and you know, some of the quick examples were when I turned 16, literally on my 16th birthday, I had a job interview because my parents, , it was , so annoying to ask for money.
[00:32:12]
Leah: And I remember asking for new cheerleading shoes and getting yelled at because it was , that costs money. So you can't , and I'm , well, I have to, you know, have these things. So I was , instead of playing a sport or doing something with. Friends or family, I'm just going to start working.
[00:32:26]
Leah: And so I've always been this hard worker, which has been this label I placed on myself. And during your money healing meditations and exercises, I remember kind of having a moment going , wow, I've all these stories that I've attached to myself. So then I go to this retreat the next day, and this was a manifestation retreat, and I have done a lot of manifestation work.
[00:32:48]
Leah: , that's probably was a love of mine before I did human design. And so I'm , we're doing this sort of deep subconscious healing, essentially. And I had this experience where I literally went into. My younger version of myself, because I claim for the day at the beginning of the day, I was , I'm going to manifest money.
[00:33:06]
Leah: , that was my thing. I want to manifest a lot of abundance in my business. And so, and then, so in this, I realized, well, I can't because I have a lot of things that I have to work through. And so I went through this dark night of the soul at this retreat. I ended up being walked through this subconscious healing and this meditation.
[00:33:24]
Leah: And I was closing my eyes and , I wasn't on drugs or anything. It was just , , just girls, women's retreat. And I was. Hold back into, , when I was 16 years old, it was , hold back in time. This was this just happening with me sitting there in meditation. And I saw myself at 16 years old in my kitchen and my dad was making, my sisters were making fun of me because my dad had said that I d designer milk because I wanted almond milk.
[00:33:53]
Leah: But he was making, I'm from the Midwest. They were making fun of the fact that , Yeah. And , I guess they were , Oh, dad says that you drink designer milk. And I never knew that that's , I remember that story. And , it's a joke still in our family, but , I never knew that that had such a deep effect on my relationship with money.
[00:34:14]
Leah: And then it was , during this meditation, I pulled myself to me in the future where I saw myself at 40 years old, I'm 27. And so I was having a conversation with my older self and she's , was laughing at me and she's , you're going to have everything that you've ever desired. , you're going to be okay.
[00:34:31]
Leah: , you need to stop pushing and worrying and , you know, trying to skip steps in the process essentially and then , within a blink of an eye, I was standing there holding hands with myself at 16 and myself at 40 and I was sobbing and , yeah. There's a room of maybe 20 girls and we get done and everyone's just staring at me because I am an emotional wreck and they're , are you okay?
[00:34:54]
Leah: And I was , between doing your money healing and then that day being focused on that subject. I literally changed my whole life. I so, and I was so emotional. I'm , I don't know what just happened. , I think I connected to a younger version of myself and I , cause I was literally having a conversation , Hey, you're going to have everything you want.
[00:35:15]
Leah: I started telling me on yourself, . Stop. , don't worry. you can buy almond milk or whatever the milk that you want one day. And So I had to tell you that because Then I went through this whole dark night of the soul and that's really where I found you because I think I had followed you So I used to be The assistant for three or four months I was the assistant to a mindfulness coach that I think you may know.
[00:35:37]
Leah: Do you know Samara Zellnicker?
[00:35:38]
Natalia: Yeah, I think so. I think so. Yeah.
[00:35:40]
Leah: Okay. So she I was , I had been obsessed with human design when I was her assistant for , maybe 3 months and she had sent me your stuff and was , oh, she's you had a email or something that mentioned human design. So she forwarded it to me.
[00:35:53]
Leah: And so I started getting your emails. I signed up. And then I, , ended up, you know, kind of following you. And so I think it was right at that point, I started listening to your podcast just this past smer, because I hadn't been going through this dark night of the soul after I had that whole experience.
[00:36:09]
Leah: And I was , I want to work on healing my money and figuring this out. So. This is very off this kind of went off track, but I had to tell you all of that. And I want my podcast to listen, to know that experience has you tied into that. And it's such an embodiment going back to human design of.
[00:36:27]
Leah: When we learn parts of ourselves and we, and we get closer to our energy, we go through this deconditioning process. And so not only does that happen, , with someone me, who does human design all the time, but that happens with someone you, and that enables you to be able to show up in your gifts and then for the rest of us to be able to.
[00:36:44]
Leah: Learn from those. And so when we're all in alignment to our energy, it gives everyone else permission to be in alignment. So thank you.
[00:36:52]
Natalia: Oh my God, Dave, what a gift to receive this from you today. And you know what? I think that what this is, it's so healing for me because you know, sometimes As you mentioned about the business being very challenging, yeah, it brings up so much when things aren't working or when you're not sure what to do next.
[00:37:16]
Natalia: And I can get very bogged down even just today, I'm working from home, but I'm doing a lot of numbers stuff and looking at our expenses and all these different things and, you know, getting to have the gift of you telling me this is just , I always say that the thing that keeps me on track and never giving up is because.
[00:37:40]
Natalia: Of who I do this for and the, the gift I just received from you sharing this is, you know, when I trust my creative flow, which is really important for me as a person, who knows how that's going to impact someone else's life. And all I have to do is trust that part of myself. And that is just , that's something I'll hold with me, you know, forever, because sometimes I will get so bogged in the things to do.
[00:38:09]
Natalia: And I'll forget about my creativity. And I feel recently I just made a lot of really big changes with the business that actually have returned me to this creative state because the creativity is why the business even exists. the meditations or the podcasts or the things that I've just created by trusting that deeper part of myself and then creating from it, you know, so you've just really given me such a reminder that I'm on the right path.
[00:38:35]
Natalia: So thank you for that, babe. And I'm so honored that. What a beautiful vision. I've had visions that before and they're just prolifically powerful. It's just amazing. Yeah.
[00:38:46]
Leah: Changed my whole life. I haven't, I haven't been the same since. So yeah. , and I think too, I was going to say that just with you talking about being in alignment, being a creatrix, being an entrepreneur, a lot of times it's just being a creatrix and stepping into that.
[00:39:01]
Leah: And. Oh, true. I don't remember the name of this book and I haven't even read it, but someone told me I was on a, I was on another podcast. I was being interviewed and the host was telling me about a book that she read that, , I need to, I need to read, listen and buy this book. But basically it was a story about.
[00:39:18]
Leah: This girl who, and maybe you're, maybe you'll know what this is when I'm talking about it, , where she had this idea of writing a book, it was an author and she started kind of writing the beginning portions of this book. And she stopped. And then maybe years or months later, she met someone who, who was , I don't an authors or writers retreat or something.
[00:39:38]
Leah: And she ended up becoming really good friends with this person. And she was , Hey, I want you to read my. Yeah. , what is it your manuscript for this book that I wrote and she wrote the book that the other girl had started to write the exact same book and they had never had that conversation.
[00:39:53]
Leah: And so I think the, the whole point of the book is, and I guess it's not giving anything away because that's what the girl told me essentially. If we have, if there's an idea, the world will try and manifest it. So anyone that you, if you, if you get an idea, it's planted inside of you. And so it's up to you to respond or see if it's right for you and using your human design or your authority to decide if it's something that's right for you to do.
[00:40:18]
Leah: And. If it's not, it will plant, the universe will plant that idea in someone else who can potentially bring it forward. And so I just love that. And sometimes I think about that with being an entrepreneur, a creatrix is , if you don't do it, someone else will. And not to get people in a hurry, but it's , you are meant to get these ideas because they need to be taken into the world at the state that it's in and whatever capacity.
[00:40:42]
Natalia: So I love that. That's beautiful. Yeah.
[00:40:47]
Leah: Okay. So going back to you being a manifesting generator, I want to just wrap it up with, you know, asking you with being a manifesting generator, what is , or I guess in just human design in general, what is the number one thing that you love so far about human design or your favorite way that you've learned, or just kind of closing it with a love note to human design from your perspective?
[00:41:12]
Natalia: Oh, I love that. Well, a couple of months ago, I went to Hawaii with two of my best friends and I arrived and I told Mama Kauai, I was , I'm here to open my heart and I'm here to heal and I'm here to enjoy myself guide. And then the next morning I woke up, I could barely get out of bed. My whole body was throbbing.
[00:41:38]
Natalia: My heart was racing. My feet, my hands were cold. I had the most excruciating headache of my life. And I learned that I was basically that day, I was about to start my cycle. I was iron deficient because I had been going. And going and going and going and not eating enough. My, my old eating style was , I'm going to stand.
[00:42:05]
Natalia: I'm going to watch things. I'm going to learn. I'm going to barely eat cause I am too busy and I have too much going on and I. too much, too many fun things to do. Eating is so boring. So that used to be my attitude. And so while I was there, I actually ended up losing my, well, losing quote unquote, but I did not have a vacation.
[00:42:26]
Natalia: I was so sick and it really took until me getting home to feel better. And I basically took that as a download that I needed to learn some things about myself. And the main thing that came through is about eating properly. So I'd remembered when one of my best friends, Gala, , who's a manifester, she had told me, Hey, you should look at your eating or I don't know.
[00:42:54]
Natalia: I think that's what it's called, but it's you're eating the digestion. Yeah. Determination is the formal name. Yeah. Yeah. So she had told me about that months before and I was , boring, calm atmosphere, boring, never doing that. Then I had this massive crash and burn when I was away. And then when I came back, I was , okay, I'm going to go back and listen to that on a Jenna Zoe's app.
[00:43:17]
Natalia: And so I listened to it over and over and over again. And the amount of magic and. Massive transformation that happened within a week and a half of me sitting down and eating meals, even right before I got on this call with you, I was , girl, I know you're having fun and you're working. You're crunching numbers and you're in your happy place, but you got to go sit down and eat lunch.
[00:43:39]
Natalia: , you need to eat lunch. So the love note I want to say is . That little gift of calm atmosphere, how to honor my digestion, unlocking the gifts that I have by actually eating properly has transformed my life over the last two months. I was so out of balance and so out of whack. And it's so funny who would have thought that, , I'd finally listen because I heard it on my human design app and that was just.
[00:44:11]
Natalia: You know, I feel it's gifted me this whole other level of life and brilliance that I didn't have access to before because I looked at eating as a new, a nuisance. I mean, that's really sad, but I, I did. And that's obviously very privileged shoe. It is a gift to eat. But at the same time, I was just , I just was , I'm my old story was , I'm too busy for this and I don't want to sit down and do this and now it's part of my meditation where I sit down and I'd say in a given day, 85 percent of my meals are eaten in total silence and without my phone.
[00:44:51]
Natalia: And that's a big deal for me. So I'm very grateful that I learned that about my human design. , because as I said, unlocking that one little thing, it's just made a massive difference in my energy and my output made it even better. I love that.
[00:45:06]
Leah: And, , it's such an interesting thing to play with too, because it's such a deeper layer in our human design, but I think when you're ready for it, it makes such a transformation and I'm going to gift you, so I do these guidebooks and they're , They go into all the deep layers of your chart, and I'll gift you one after, I think I have your birth info.
[00:45:23]
Natalia: I think you, yeah, the form. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:45:26]
Leah: I'll send it to you later this evening, but it's, it's so cool to kind of see what your digestion is and some of these deeper layers. And again, human design is just a journey. So see if it makes a difference. And if it doesn't, maybe it's just not the right time for someone you.
[00:45:41]
Leah: That's really been aligned with being a manifesting generator and probably using that sacral, the strategy and authority of your chart. It's , that's now when you're able to kind of access that and go, wow, this is actually making a massive difference in my life.
[00:45:54]
Natalia: So that's so cool. I'm at the perfect moment.
[00:45:57]
Leah: Yeah, where can people find you? , how can they work with you?
[00:46:02]
Natalia: Oh yeah, so I'm very active on Instagram, just at Natalia underscore Benson and my website is Natalia Benson dot com. You will see it as a manifesting generator. A dream over there. I've got, you know, my business school, my money membership, my financial empowerment membership, ways to work with me one to one.
[00:46:25]
Natalia: So everything is over there on the site. And then, yeah, of course, if you heard me here, I'd love to, to meet you. So just shoot me a DM over on IG. I'm so grateful you had me, babe. This was really, really special. And I love just having a little. Human design geek moment because I've just gotten really into it lately.
[00:46:45]
Leah: Yeah. Well, I love it. Thank you. It's been such a pleasure.
