SUBCONSCIOUS REPROGRAMMING WITH RYAN HADDON
EPISODE #17: Subconscious Reprogramming with Ryan Haddon
In this episode, Leah shares about the power of the subconscious mind and how to reprogram your subconscious mind to manifest with spiritual coach and hypnotist, Ryan Haddon. She shares all of the following:
Reprogramming your subconscious mind
Hypnosis
Feeding your subconscious mind
Past lives
Creating your reality
Transitioning From City to Country Life
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RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Ryan Haddon
https://ryanhaddon.com/
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:
Follow Leah on Instagram @thedesignofyou
Book a reading with Leah
Intro/Outro song is 6am by Young Mooski
EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:35]
Leah: Welcome back to another episode. Oh my goodness, guys, today is such a good episode. So I interviewed Ryan Haddon, who is a certified life and spiritual coach. She's a hypnotherapist and certified meditation teacher. She's over 18 years of experience with clients around the world. And she's a sought out speaker for corporate retreats and wellness events.
[00:00:58]
Leah: She runs private workshops such as like stepping into your purpose. work life balance, finding your center. And she also offers online courses and group coaching programs. She is just an incredible person and has been featured in so many top publications like push Oprah, daily mind, body green, and all sorts of areas.
[00:01:18]
Leah: She is just so incredible to talk to. We ended up getting into subconscious programming. That was really the focus of today's episode. Because she had sent over just a couple topics and something that I love to talk about is a subconscious mind and how that plays a role in manifestation. I talk a little bit about that in our manifestation story episode, but Ryan brings a beautiful angle where she talks about how subconscious reprogramming works at the sort of energetic level with different waves and you guys will hear all about it in just a moment, but what a great honor to be able to interview her and get to know her.
[00:01:59]
Leah: I just am so grateful. I have so much gratitude that I get to talk to these amazing people that they come on my podcast and want to get to know. My story and then they they get to share with me new things that I it's like reading a book really It's like I you know when you read a book and you just feel like oh my gosh I'm learning so much and you're so excited.
[00:02:19]
Leah: That's how I feel when I interview someone on my podcast. I'm like, oh my gosh it's like I'm reading a book and it's just uh, it's like I learned so much and I leave a different person and I End up talking about the topic that I talked to someone that I interviewed forever, all week. So, so much fun. I'm excited for y'all to tune into this episode.
[00:02:39]
Leah: It is phenomenal and honestly, I was going to add some personal updates into here, but I am recording this probably a month or so prior to when this goes out. So I'm just going to let you guys get to the actual episode and hear our conversation and yeah, just stay updated with me on the Instagrams. Okay, let's get into it.
[00:03:09]
Leah: All right. We are here with Ryan Haddon and I'm so excited. To have her share all about her journey as a spiritual life coach, she and I were just talking a little bit about all of these, um, things that are part of her journey with spirituality and, um, we're going to talk about reprogramming the subconscious mind.
[00:03:28]
Leah: So. Without further ado, Ryan, introduce yourself, tell us who you are and, um, welcome to The Design Of You, the podcast.
[00:03:36]
Ryan: Oh, well, we had so good to be here. Thank you for having me. And I love talking about human design, how we decipher, how we, these blueprints. That we can work off of to understand how we move through the world, um, what types we are.
[00:03:51]
Ryan: I think they're, they're really powerful. They're a great jumping off point.
[00:03:54]
Leah: Yeah. I love human design and I know like being a spiritual life coach, it has so many like intricacies between human design and I mean, really human design is a spiritual system. So it's cool to, um, to talk to people who do spiritual work because it's fun to see the tie.
[00:04:08]
Leah: So I have Ryan's chart pulled up. So if she says anything where I'm like, Oh, that's a part of. How your design will probably talk about it. But Ryan, I'd love to hear just around the work that you do. So tell everyone like what it is that you do as a spiritual life coach and tell us just your entire journey.
[00:04:24]
Leah: I'd love to hear it all.
[00:04:25]
Ryan: Uh, well, it's been a long journey. Uh, it feels long. It feels very, um, powerful and beautiful and I honor all of it. I find myself in this beautiful position to be able to give back all that I've received has been a tremendous amount of light bearers of healers of mentors coaches that have showed up on my timeline in this life and I'm sure in many, many others and it's.
[00:04:51]
Ryan: A beautiful thing to be able to transmute that, make it your own and then turn around and deliver that and hold space for someone else. And it really is a beautiful place to be in. So to get here, I feel like I've earned it in many ways. I've had a lot of dark nights of the soul. Um, a lot of really powerful teachers that brought me to my knees and including.
[00:05:13]
Ryan: Alcohol. I'm sober 20 years this year. And so that was one of those, uh, life breakers and also, you know, the coming into the program and learning how to live without it and learning how to self heal and learning to be in this beautiful tribe of other people doing the same is, um, is a powerful part of my story.
[00:05:34]
Ryan: It didn't begin there. I've been on the spiritual path for a long time and again, many lifetimes. Um, I've done a lot of past life regressions, so I know I've been at this for a while. And this 1 at 17, I met a meditation teacher that gave me a classic, you know, Kundalini experience where. You know, my heart exploded and I felt this connection and waves of love and, you know, Jesus, 1 of the many enlightened beings that have walked on the planet showed up for me and, um, I created this beautiful connection with him and others.
[00:06:06]
Ryan: And so. That happened for me at 17 and led me to India, where I studied meditation, and it didn't end there, like one can think having this great awakening and discovering the power of chanting and meditation and spiritual community might really tee you up for a monastic life, it really didn't, it didn't preclude me from other career choices.
[00:06:31]
Ryan: Activities, because from there I went to college and it was keg parties and trying to balance those two polarities within my own self, which is really how we come into some mastery is both feminine and masculine, but also light and dark shadow and light all those different things is a big part of it.
[00:06:48]
Ryan: Healing the past so that I can be fully in the present. And so, like, just there was a lot of different things to unpack and. I also was looking for purpose and I couldn't find it. I was 1 of those people that many people said you could do anything. I have a lot of potential and I felt that I felt like I was sitting on this seed, this potent seed of purpose, but I couldn't figure out.
[00:07:10]
Ryan: I couldn't navigate what it was in my 20s. And so I was like, throwing things at the wall. Maybe this, maybe that. And then I aligned myself with a lot of other powerful people in their excellence thinking somehow if I could. Sideline into their, you know, purpose somehow that would deliver me mine, but all it did was create a lens on that lack and that feeling of growing and unworthiness and lack and not figuring it out and not being able to reconcile the spirituality that I had been gifted with.
[00:07:39]
Ryan: And then the life I was leading created, um, kind of, I want to say the frequency of self loathing is really what it felt like. And that's really intolerable. So I reached for things outside of myself. And that led me down a dark path. It was very short lived. And that's why I think the grace of my previous spiritual path really shortened the distance.
[00:07:59]
Ryan: So it was very obvious very quickly. It was a mother at the time, and there was a certain shame in that. And I got sober. My kids were really young, but. It nonetheless, you can see that it doesn't matter what you have on the outside. It doesn't matter what purpose motherhood wasn't delivering that. That's that feeling of self loathing was so entrenched and ingrained in me.
[00:08:21]
Ryan: It wasn't until I got sober that I was able to reconcile who I was and who I was becoming and able to then really show up one day at a time. That's sort of the language that I understood that made sense just for today. I can show up sober just for today. I can. You know, create a relationship with. This higher power, God spirit and this connection to myself that was powerful and something that I actually wanted and I didn't know I wanted and these other women mentors people showed me through hypnosis through, you know, I guess all these mentors showed up on my path, how to heal from the past and how to stay with the day and how to be in gratitude and how to like just these very practical ways to connect to spirituality.
[00:09:07]
Ryan: So. Yeah, I love that I learned then and then I would then it was, it is, and it was, and it is, and it continues to evolve. And it's never over.
[00:09:19]
Leah: Right. Oh, my God. It's a journey.
[00:09:21]
Ryan: Not a destination. No, it's so true. And it's so exciting. And it's so fun. And there's nowhere to get to. And it's just, it's just becoming more of who we are and honoring those parts.
[00:09:31]
Ryan: Those aspects of ourself. And hypnosis is just 1 of those ways to do that. Yeah,
[00:09:37]
Leah: yeah, I'm so into hypnosis right now and this is like such a timely episode because I am actually seeing my first hypnotist tomorrow. Um, yeah, I have a fear of flying that I'm like trying to get over. Yeah, I've just tried to deal with it for a few years.
[00:09:53]
Leah: It started in 2019 and I finally like I have a flight next week and it was actually just a few days ago. I just like kind of. I haven't been able to sleep thinking about it. I'm like, I have to kick this. And so I started looking into local hypnotists. And so I found someone. So I would love to hear about your work with like hypnosis and, um, the reprogramming of the subconscious mind, because just to give you insight into, you know, my experience with any of that.
[00:10:21]
Leah: There's two things. One, anyone listening, and I, and I'm going to say this because this was my experience when I first heard about hypnosis and the idea of like a hypnotist. I think that the media are like movies and different things puts this like really weird lens on what that actually means. I was at a retreat this past summer.
[00:10:41]
Leah: So about a year ago, and I, uh, there was someone there who did a lot of work with like the subconscious mind and manifestation and it was a retreat focused on manifesting and that was the first time that I feel like I really accessed my subconscious mind at that level and it was really cool because I went on to talk to her and learn a little bit more about hypnosis and I Something that was so interesting to me was like, I always imagined hypnosis and, you know, hypnotist as being this like really crazy experience where it's like, you know, you have some like genie over you, like with a crystal ball.
[00:11:18]
Leah: And as someone who's in spirituality, I just had never really tapped my feet in that. And so I think something that anyone listening, who's maybe not familiar, it's like a very common practice that, um, a lot of like. Counselors and therapists use, so I love hearing more about it because it really opened up my world to understanding, like, the subconscious mind is such a deep level and I recently towards the end of last year, I read the book, many lives, many masters, which, like, also, I don't know.
[00:11:48]
Leah: I'm sure if you've read that book, but it was like a big part of me, like, understanding. How our brains work and our subconscious and in past lives and all these things that are kind of interconnected. So I would love to hear more about, you know, your experience with being someone who does hypnosis.
[00:12:04]
Ryan: Sure.
[00:12:04]
Ryan: I came across a book called, uh, the power of the subconscious mind by Dr. Joseph Murphy. I think I have that book. Yeah. When you read it, he hypnotizes you. So it's the powder that he uses and the repetition throughout the book. Certain books do that. And there's another book that I read on my, um, in that, in a span of time that also changed, you know, another addiction that I had, which was smoking.
[00:12:28]
Ryan: And I read a book, How to Stop Smoking. It's by Alan, I think it's Alan Carr. And I stopped smoking after that book and I couldn't, I had tried in many different ways. So you can be hypnotized, if you will, or a suggestive, suggestibility when you're reading a book and then take on a new way of approaching something.
[00:12:47]
Ryan: Find a book that's aligned with what you want and then try, try that because I've had two books changed my life that way. Right. So the hypnosis one. Definitely changed my life that 1st, 1, the power of the subconscious mind that was, it was, it opened the door. It was a gateway if you will. And then after that, I found a hypnotist through my sponsor.
[00:13:08]
Ryan: Actually, it was like, this person's amazing. And I moved through a lot of relational. Things that were showing up. I had some things from childhood, but we're showing up as their want to do in my dating, like with relationships. And I kept bringing in the same emotionally unavailable partner repetitiously.
[00:13:25]
Ryan: And I'm like, I know it's not them. It's me. And that's what I learned. And that time is it's my subconscious that is recreating again and again a relationship with a primary caregiver, or it might not be that for you, but that's what it was for me. And so what it's trying to do, it looks like a saboteur, because at the time I was saying, I want to be in a happy relationship.
[00:13:45]
Ryan: I want to be loved. I want to be valued. That's my conscious mind calling that in. And that's a great first step because you have to want it right. You have to have value on it, but it's not enough a lot of times, because then what I was calling in was the bad boy. I was calling in what I knew, what felt familiar to me, someone walking away, someone not fully valuing who I was and my worth, but it really starts with my own.
[00:14:07]
Ryan: At that time. Also, I was working so deeply in more self love, more self acceptance, you know, those things. So I'm healing alongside that, but. The hypnosis is what I really worked on closing those loops on that primary caregiver and really releasing this idea that I'm not enough. You know, and that's where I was showing up in partnership.
[00:14:30]
Ryan: So here I was like, the person would show up and he would seemingly be, you know, a sheep in a wolf in sheep's clothing. It was seemingly be like, I wanted it, but it would be the same thing over and over again. And I know that's how people find me eventually because they're like, I keep consciously wanting something, but I keep manifesting something else.
[00:14:49]
Ryan: And that's really tells you it's your subconscious that's working off of a blueprint off of a program. Um, That it understands and it's not doing that to cause you harm. It's like the great laboratory. It's just playing fetch with what it what it knows what's familiar. And that's always safe to get out of our comfort zone.
[00:15:04]
Ryan: We have to create new habits. We have to create different ways of speaking to ourself, different ways of understanding how we get triggered. And so, you know, when you're unconscious, you just keep banging your head up against the wall and you think it's them. You're like, why are they like this? Why does this keep happening?
[00:15:19]
Ryan: And when you start to understand that it's you, you're the common denominator. It's actually super empowering because then, you know, it's me. So then I could start really focusing on healing that relationship with that other parent that I thought I was done with, you know? So it's, and then things started to change.
[00:15:35]
Ryan: So doing that, that awareness was the first thing. And then hypnosis, working with it at the deepest level of being, because consciously it's not going to be enough. Not usually is enough to create a shift, like with you with. You know, flying, because this is from probably from another time. We've read many lives, many masters.
[00:15:52]
Ryan: That's why people do a lot of times while they do past life regressions is if it doesn't make sense in this lifetime, then it probably is from another time and we carry over. This is part of our Kashuk records. This is another. Interesting blueprint to, to, to understand that we have, our souls have a record of every lifetime.
[00:16:10]
Ryan: We've had every experience and that the subconscious houses all of that. And so, you know, most times when you come to a hypnotist, you're working off of this lifetime. But again, with many lives, many masters are Dr. Michael Newton, who wrote a book. Journey of souls, which I highly recommend it's, I think a master class book to many lives, many masters, because that's really about what happens in these lifetimes and, uh, journey of souls is what happens between lifetimes, which is way more interesting to me because this plane, this 3d plane is like, okay, it's cool.
[00:16:43]
Ryan: It's great. You know, but what's really going on is so much bigger and so much more, it really contextualizes a lot of what's happening in this 3d place that we're in right now. Yeah. So anyway, I recommend that book. It's good. These are is in your notes, the many lives, many masters and journeys of souls and the power of conscious mind.
[00:17:01]
Ryan: These are like three great books to try to understand more of the smoking book. If you're grappling with smoking, the subconscious is housing all of that. It runs 95 percent of our life. Most of which is negative, and this is unfortunate. That's when we're unconscious. 80 percent of it is like negative self talk going on under the surface.
[00:17:18]
Ryan: We have 30 thoughts a day, so we can't be aware of all of them. But if you are triggered, if you're angry, if you're upset, if you're hurt. Usually, you can kind of clue into what you're saying to yourself in that time. And it's usually that's when you get a clue into nobody loves me. I'm not worthy. Nothing good ever happens to me.
[00:17:37]
Ryan: Then you understand those phrases are kind of a key to what programming you have under the surface, running everything and what you're creating. You know,
[00:17:46]
Leah: yeah, one of the most revolutionary things I feel like I've learned about the subconscious mind is the fact that I think it's from ages 0 to 7 is when a lot of its form or perhaps in our past lives too, but it's so much of it is like.
[00:17:59]
Leah: We, we don't remember a lot, but when we're that young either, and so it's like the way that our brain was so mushy and able to absorb things. And so if there was trauma within your family, even if it's small, like, I think a lot of people I've worked with before have said to me, like, I don't have trauma.
[00:18:14]
Leah: And I think trauma can feel like a bigger word, but there are things that. I think that can happen even if they were so minuscule that still have an effect on how we do certain things. And so it's always really interesting. Um, like for me, for example, like something that's been a part of that journey is my parents divorced when I was three and I, and I couldn't remember some like tough memories with that, like them getting in arguments.
[00:18:37]
Leah: And I kind of remember one time, like being told to go in the backyard while they like. Like, you know, bought. And I think I came into like our computer chair, like thrown over and like something broken. And, and so you have like, you know, these things that happened when you were so young and, and the way that they have an effect.
[00:18:55]
Leah: And there's so much, so much of it that you don't even remember. So it's like, how loved were you as a baby? And, you know, and so, so much of this is so tied to how our subconscious brain works. And, and I, and I think one of the things that really has landed for me learning about it is. I was talking to my sister once about the subconscious mind and we were talking about just like everyday habits, like, for example, working out and how we know the subconscious mind is so powerful is like so many of us will say, you know, okay, I just need to work out, you know, this many days a week, or I need to do this.
[00:19:27]
Leah: This is what my body needs. Like, we almost have the clues of what we need to do, but it's like, why can't we do it? We're like, so if it was so easy for us to consciously understand what it is that we have to do. Okay. How can we, we can't get to that place. So there's obviously something bigger that's happening that's controlling us.
[00:19:44]
Leah: And, and so I think it's always so interesting to help break that piece down because it's like, we know what to do, but there's something getting in the way of us actually doing that thing. So I'd love to hear from your perspective, like, what are ways that people can. If it's like, you know, perhaps working out as that's an example, but also maybe it's like you said, I want to quit smoking or I want to quit drinking.
[00:20:06]
Leah: How can we move from that conscious thought of like, this is something that I need to do. And how can we, you know, honestly manifest a way to reprogram that subconscious mind to get to the place of like. You know, that being on autopilot, essentially.
[00:20:21]
Ryan: Yeah, you have to hit it from a few places. It's not just one thing.
[00:20:26]
Ryan: Um, and I did want to say what you said about the 0 to 7 is interesting because yeah, that's what they say from 0 to 7. we're usually in theta, which is where this brainwave activity state where we're absorbing everything around us. So things make an impression. Things get filed away categorized around abundance stability.
[00:20:46]
Ryan: Yeah. Um, love family, all our definitions happen from the ages 0 to 7 and that's actually happening through the mind of a child. So it's being qualified and quantified and it would probably need revisited as the from the adult self. So it's having that patience, having that grace with ourself to understand that was a time from 0 to 7 where I was absorbing the world around me.
[00:21:11]
Ryan: After that, we go into a much, you know, we go in and out of states, which is what we do now. Right now. We're in beta, which is very fast output brainwave activity state right below that is alpha. And right below that is Theta and Theta is that again, that state from zero to seven that we're in primarily most of the time when we're in our waking state and then Delta sleep.
[00:21:29]
Ryan: So those are the, these are, these are just things to know that we're in and out of these states throughout the day. When you space out, when you drive from A to B and you don't know how you got there, you were in a form of trance. You were probably in an alpha state. When you watch TV, it's also a form of focus.
[00:21:43]
Ryan: People think of hypnosis is like, you know, going away in some ways, but it actually can be a hyper focus. Also. So we're in these states throughout our day often. And you mentioned sometimes sometimes people have these ideas around what it is and all hypnosis is self hypnosis. It's really to the degree that you allow.
[00:22:01]
Ryan: That that state yourself to drop into that state. So you want to feel safe. You want to feel comfortable. You want to find someone to work with that. Um, you know, that can hold you in that way that has the same values that has a voice and an understanding that matches who you are and where you are. And these sort of phobias and things that show up are fascinating.
[00:22:23]
Ryan: I had a client that came who was afraid of the water. And in this lifetime, it didn't make sense. She'd never had an accident. Her parents hadn't dropped her in the bathtub. There was nothing, you know, in this time that made sense. She had taken lessons with a swim instructor. She had, you know, consciously, you know, got into the water up to her knees and her feet and try to get into her waist.
[00:22:43]
Ryan: And she would feel this rising sense of panic. So, as a hypnotist, I had options. I could take her into a past life and figure out where it came from. Or we could just start at the starting point and just see how we could rework her understanding in a place of Theta, which we dropped into was just through this very progressive relaxation into the space.
[00:23:01]
Ryan: And also, she was willing and ready to do this. She wanted it so badly. And I think that's a big part of it is the willingness and the want has to be there. And she was in that perfect crossroads for herself. And we did the session and. And we made these suggestions that when she got into the water, she felt a deep and abiding sense of relaxation, that she felt comfortable and safe and that she could get in as deep as she wanted and that feeling of freedom in the water.
[00:23:26]
Ryan: And so we just went through all those ideas and then I didn't hear from her for a while. So I checked back with her and then she came back to me and she's like, guess what? I'm swimming in the ocean. She lived in Miami, which is supremely frustrating to her, you know, not to be able to swim. And so anyway, so you can see it can happen in 1 session.
[00:23:42]
Ryan: These miracles, this. This, this new way of being and the suggestibility, we're all suggestible. We're being programmed all the time, whether we know it or not through, you know, commercials, through entertainers, through the news. And it's really, we must be so judicious about how, you know, and use discernment, what we expose ourselves to almost like what you would expose your child to.
[00:24:06]
Ryan: Think of that as yourself, because your subconscious is recording everything. It's picking up things all over the place. So, You know, be the guardian that you should be to your subconscious to, you know, there was a time when I was dating and like I mentioned in Los Angeles and a very funny pool of dating, which is very small and feisty and competitive and people would say things like there's no good men left and there's no, you know, and at that time I was understanding my subconscious and I would say, cancel, cancel, cancel.
[00:24:37]
Ryan: There's enough and I have enough and my person is making his way to me in this now, you know, and like, so that's how, like, I just became very, you know, militant about what I was putting into myself and what I was allowing what other people's beliefs where they were and their understanding of how things were.
[00:24:54]
Ryan: And I'm, I'm operating from a whole different system over here, you know, and I'm feeding my subconscious with love, acceptance, prosperity, abundance. Acceptance like, yeah, to source and spirit like that is what I that's the blueprint. I'm living off of now. Yeah. And I love what you said about just kind of being militant about just stopping that right away.
[00:25:18]
Leah: I think that that's something I may have learned that in Joseph Murphy's book around his money book where he talks about. I believe it was that book where it's kind of like the second you see a negative thought come through, reframe that. And so that's been a huge part of my journey with money, but even so much so, like what you were saying where someone's saying, Oh my gosh, you know, the dating pool sucks.
[00:25:39]
Leah: It's like, no, it's not. It's great. Right. And I think so often you see people who, especially around dating where they'll say like, Oh my gosh, all men are like people my age, all men are trash or, you know, men are horrible. And it's like, And they will continue to be, because that's what you believe and that's what you say.
[00:25:55]
Leah: And so, you know, you're, it's going to be tough to find that diamond in the rough when, when you believe so much in that rough. And so, I don't know. I just think it's so interesting. And I just think affirmations can be so powerful just in the way that we. When we stop them and we say, you know, like one of the things that I was reprogramming with the, the money story was, it was like one of those things where you say, we were like, I'm broke or you would just say that stuff all the time, you know, just here and there as like a joke and, you know, it's like at the day, no, we're not like we, we live in California and a beautiful home and we have great things, but it's like, we continue to stay that.
[00:26:29]
Leah: And so, you know, That's again, like, that's the reality you're creating by believing that and saying those things on loop. And, and I, I think our language can be so important in that subconscious mind. Like, even, you know, you hear people all the time. And this is 1 that I'm working through is like, when people laugh, they're like, Oh, my gosh, I'm dying.
[00:26:47]
Leah: That's so funny. And I'm like, well, watch what you're saying a little bit. Like, not that that's going to manifest fully. Like, I don't want people to go crazy over certain words that you say, but You want to be very cautious of how you're talking about something because after so long, your subconscious brain is going to believe that it's going to create those, um, you know, sort of patterns.
[00:27:05]
Leah: Yeah. Words are spells.
[00:27:06]
Ryan: Like that's what we call it. Spelling. It's really powerful to say like, just all these colloquialisms we have, like I'm dying to go there. And I say, I'm living together and everyone rolls their eyes, but it's like, Why can't we make that cool? Like, let's just engineer for that. You know?
[00:27:21]
Ryan: Yeah. Yeah. You know, I just think there's so much that once you start getting hip to that, you realize how negative it is. And I would venture to say it's on purpose. There is a world that we live in that is, is deeply invested in our limitation and our lack that profits off of that. And so it's up to you to continually come back home to yourself and say, this is what I'm working off of and know that you are so.
[00:27:46]
Ryan: Powerful like there you are. You are everything. You are an absolute master manifester for better or for worse. And so just know that know that everything you've created. I mean, there's some karmic law. I mean, there's some. I'm sure there's things that are unfinished business. I'm sure there's soul, you know, missions that we have that we wouldn't necessarily choose.
[00:28:07]
Ryan: Once we're embodied, we wouldn't manifest it. Like, I wouldn't manifest my, my, my dark nights of the soul, but they're so valuable. So, I think there's some humility around manifesting that I think we have to have. We can't. Some things are just not in alignment with the soul's purpose, but in this human body, we have to find that balance.
[00:28:24]
Ryan: So what I tend to say is I'm, this is what I want. This is what I'm manifesting. These are all the steps. I have my very practical steps. I'm sure you've got your own, um, that I make sure that I, that I have in place. But then I also say if it's for the highest good of all, because my higher self has got a whole other plan that might be way better than my ego, And my limited human self can actually envision so I always leave that open and I don't, I don't want to tread on anyone else to get it.
[00:28:47]
Ryan: So I say, if it's for the highest good of all, and that's not a victim statement. That's because when everything is in alignment and it's organic and it's moving as it should, everyone benefits. And that's what I'm into. So it's same being of service. It's, it's, um, I'm of service in the ways that will benefit.
[00:29:03]
Ryan: Whoever, however it works, I feel like more and more, it becomes less about ambition, less about, and sometimes it's depressing in the wellness space because I don't really want what anyone else has. I don't want to be, you know, this motivational speaker or that person. I just want to do me and I don't, no one's doing it in the way that I'm doing it and the way that I'm feeling it and I'm feeling my way through it.
[00:29:21]
Ryan: Like, there's nothing, there's no benchmark. It's not getting on Oprah. It's not all these other things. They're just, they're nothing. This is a 3D construct. So I'm going to keep feeling my way through it. As I continue and I'll go as far as it serves for the highest good and that feels beautiful and in alignment.
[00:29:39]
Ryan: Otherwise, I can get sickened by the space because it's a lot of sell sell. I've got your solutions. If anyone thinks or you hear anyone talk about having your solutions run, this has been like exploding all of these false profits. And so nobody has that, and that's why I say all hypnosis is self hypnosis.
[00:29:57]
Ryan: You don't need a hypnotist to be able to drop yourself into this very natural and normal theta state. It is your birthright. It is something that you pop into throughout your day. Just do it with a little bit more deliberateness. Do it with a little bit more, um, Intention, and that is where you can cut through programming.
[00:30:16]
Ryan: You can cut through other people's projections that you've taken on. You can cut through energetic, um, siphoning that's happened. You can cut through entities, all of these different things, not to be afraid of that. It's just what we cohabit with on this plane, but it's being aware of it. And then coming back to the latent power that you have, that you are, and knowing when programming's happening from the outside in and from the inside out and being aware of it.
[00:30:42]
Ryan: Oh, why did I just say that? Is that me? Is that, is that my ego? Is that my higher self? Is it my, is it my inner child? Is it my subconscious? Is it my shadow? Like it's knowing which parts are in play. And then that's where mastery comes and it starts to feel, oh, yeah, I'm not taking dictation from that part of me, that part of me to run point in this.
[00:31:02]
Ryan: In this with what this context.
[00:31:05]
Leah: Yeah, it's really cool listening to you speak about this because it's it's a really wrapping around the, like, really just a lot of the things that we talk about human design, like conditioning is like what you're talking about, like the programming that we receive from other people.
[00:31:18]
Leah: Right? Or. You know, how to really work with what's our what's what's happening inward, which we call in human design, our authority. So it's really cool. Just hearing you talk. So I'm just seeing all the parallels kind of happen in the different language people put to all the different things that we experience again on this plane.
[00:31:33]
Leah: And so it's super fascinating. And and I love what you said to around. You don't need a hypnotist to hypnotize yourself. Sure. There are things that like, you know, some of us that's helpful for us getting support, but you know, at the end of the day, we all can heal ourselves. We don't need a certain system or religion or different things to get there.
[00:31:51]
Leah: I think it really just matters that you. That you have a willingness and that you immerse yourself in this, you know, self exploration, and there's lots of modalities that exist that you can tap into to help you get to that place. So,
[00:32:04]
Ryan: so powerful and they have their seasons. What worked in another season might not work anymore.
[00:32:09]
Ryan: Yeah, intuitive and just saying, it's okay to let that go. No slight to human design, but there's a lot of people that say, this is my son sign and this is what I am. And this is what I, you know, and it's like, It's limiting it's I met with this incredible reader of Akashic records, Linda, how she wrote a book, how to read your Akashic records, but I did a session with her and she said to me, you know, because I'm a Capricorn.
[00:32:35]
Ryan:
And so she was like, this is very ambitious. It's very, it's this it's very, you know. She's but I said, but I feel like I'm more of an Aquarius and she's like, yeah, that's the goal The goal is to move from your son to your moon Like the good so it's just another way of looking at it. Like we can't we evolve through our signs We don't have to be oh, I'm just this just who I am.
[00:32:53]
Ryan: I'm this blueprint. I'm that no you're a soul You are much bigger than any design on this planet. These are just Ways to interpret who we are and at different given moments and leverage that just for more self understanding, but then don't let it limit who you are, you know, let it limit the incredible potential and the vastness of your, your soul is just a fractal of who you are here.
[00:33:19]
Leah: Yeah. We're here for a human experience. I love that so much because I preach that quite often. There's nothing I can't stand more than like when someone that I do reading with, they're like, okay, well, you know, I have this channel and human design. So this is like the gift that I have that makes me me.
[00:33:35]
Leah: And I'm like, yeah, that is a channel that you have, but it's less about you trying to fit in that box. It's more about, does that feel resonant for you right now? It might not at this point in your journey. It might a lot later. And there's layers to how the human design system works, but like, You know, I, I fully agree with what you're saying, or someone's like, oh, my gosh, you're such a Scorpio or you're such a this.
[00:33:55]
Leah: Well, sometimes I really am. And sometimes again, like, we're here having this human experience. So, you know, if you ever feel limited by any system, that's telling you who you are. Like, I think it can be again, such a self awareness thing, but also like, it could also get you away from yourself because you're trying to be.
[00:34:11]
Leah: Maybe something that you're not, someone you're not, or you're not at that place. It's not, again, the system for the time. But Ryan, I'd love to hear more about your, um, there's something around you, uh, transitioning from city life to country life. I'd love to hear about that because I currently live in Orange County.
[00:34:31]
Leah: And, uh, in the probably next few years, I I'm from the Midwest originally and I I'm thinking that will probably me and my partner. I think we will probably move back to the Midwest. We haven't officially decided, but I know that we've had conversations around, like, wanting children and wanting to be close to family and, you know, And so I feel that's one of the, as we've been talking about it a little bit, I've been having thoughts around, well, you know, I don't know that I could ever see myself leaving here, but I know that, you know, that's going to be something for me at some point that feels most supportive in that time.
[00:35:06]
Leah: So I would love to hear about your post pandemic moving out of the city to the country and how that helped you rediscover your. You know, aspirations and things.
[00:35:15]
Ryan: Oh, I moved way before the pandemic. I've been here for 11 years. Oh, okay. Oh, my God. Yeah. I left LA. I was in a, um, part of LA West side. So it was, uh, um, like Santa Monica rent with that area.
[00:35:30]
Ryan: So very tight living, very close quarters and It was a lot of people, places and things. So it wasn't just the tightness of the space. It also felt tight energetically. And I was deeply on my spiritual path. I had been so 10 years before, and I've been working on my cat's meowing. And, um, I just remember thinking, wouldn't it be nice to not be working so hard to shut out energies?
[00:35:55]
Ryan: It'd be so nice to just wake up and be in nature and feel held and feel. You know, and of course, I moved here and the noise was happening on the inside. So it took a little while to settle down and not be like going out for lunch with girlfriends. And like that was any move can be, you know, you lose your bearings, but also moving to the, without the noise and the energetics, just your system being jammed.
[00:36:18]
Ryan: So it took a minute to root down here. But it's a beautiful space. We live on good amount of acres and I have animals and goats and chickens and that and I'm making it sound like we're in the heartland. We're not. We're in this beautiful river town in Pennsylvania and Washington's crossings, not too down too far down the river.
[00:36:38]
Ryan: Um, and it's historic and it's really lovely, but it is a slower pace and I can get to New York and it's like 2 hours to the city. It's like an hour to Philly. So it's not, you know, it's not rural, but it is quiet. And it is, you know, we have a little small town and it's I loved it. And for a while, it took a few years.
[00:36:57]
Ryan: I felt like I had an umbilical to LA because I'd been there for so long and I had built all these friendships and. You know, a whole experience is there and then I, I've been back a few times and I was just thinking about it last night, actually, that I'd been back a few times and every time I went, I loved it less and I felt less connected to the people there.
[00:37:17]
Ryan: Even the friendships, it felt like we were growing apart. Like, the love is still there, but the common ground had shifted. You know, and as that kept happening, more and more acceptance, every time I came back, I loved where I was here more. So those visits were really important. And I even did a workshop there that felt important to me to bring, you know, cause I, all of that materialized here, you know, I had been working with others from this when I'm 20 years ago in that capacity, but really opening a business and doing workshops and working one on one and doing classes and things like that.
[00:37:50] Ryan: I had been doing that in New York and Philly and here and where I live. And then. I wanted to take it back with me there. It felt important to go back like a pilgrimage back, like bringing what I had, you know, had become as this version of me back to who I was there. And, um, it was a beautiful experience, but it also was like, I'm good.
[00:38:07]
Ryan: I'm it feels complete. So we will say, and I'm like, Nope, I'm good now. I feel, it feels like everything is here. Everything that matters to me is here. And I have no curiosity, you know, when you feel like it's almost like the karma of that place closed. Like, the loop, but it took time. Um, and I was resistant when I got here and I kept comparing where I was to what was like, it's just part of the whole, the rite of passage of doing that.
[00:38:31]
Ryan: But I love it so much. And, um, I can't imagine living in a city. I was just working. I was a programming director for this Upper East Side space, um, for the last year and a half, called Sage and Sound, and it's so beautiful if you're in the city. Anyone listening, pop over there. It's, it's an oasis. It's a beautiful, beautiful space imagined by two fabulous women.
[00:38:53]
Ryan: There's everything you could want in wellness. And I was curating how people show up in community together. So it was breathwork. And You know, coaching classes and speakers. I mean, Dr. Shefali come through and like, just really amazing thinkers and, and, um, people in their excellence in their craft of breath, sound meditation.
[00:39:12]
Ryan: And so anyway, so I've been there for this. So I was doing this commute back and forth. And even that became dissonant for a moment after six months of us being open, you know, I'd been a board for a year and a half. It was like, I really want to be here. And. Like I said, I, I'm just feeling my way through how I can be of service and I feel it very, I trust my intuition and I trust my, my true north.
[00:39:37]
Ryan: And when it feels like it's done, I take, it seems to take me a minute to hear it, but I've really curated that connection to that inner voice and I trust it deeply. And so that came to me, it's time now to move back to come back here to put all my energy back here. And so, yeah, back on back on. Back on the farm fully
[00:39:58]
Leah: Yeah, I think that's so beautiful. I love what you said around really when you visit back when you come back to L. A., you really have that moment where it's like. I don't, I'm kind of done here. I don't really need it anymore. And, you know, time and a place for everything, because I think at some point, exactly, like it probably served you and the connections and the people that you met and all of those have that beautiful golden thread to your life now.
[00:40:19]
Leah: But it's such a cool story to hear you closing that book on just like, you know what, now I, now I know that that's over and now I can embrace where I am. And, you know, it's really cool to what you were saying around that position that you held. Um, you said the Upper East Side. So is that in New York City?
[00:40:36]
Leah: New York City. Yeah. Yeah. And so you're like, okay, maybe there's this new opportunity that, you know, and it was almost like the universe testing you in a way where it's like, maybe you still want to like, be hustle and bustle. And you're like, actually, no, like, you're right. I don't want to do that anymore.
[00:40:47]
Leah: And I just want to be exactly where I am. So I think that's beautiful. And, um, thank you for sharing your story and how, you know, that's, that's been a part of your transition. Because I know that, um, Something that I have been battling with Michael. There's so many connections here, but I'm like, I don't even live in L.
[00:41:03]
Leah: A. Half the time when I have to connect. I still have to drive and it could be several hours. So I'm like, we just look, just get in a plane. If I have to from somewhere that makes me feel at peace every day, because there really is nothing better than just being in the nature. And I think, you know, historic cities are also just so beautiful to be immersed in because you can learn so much.
[00:41:21]
Leah: And I don't know, culture and everything is so true.
[00:41:24]
Ryan: Yeah. And nature, it, it, she works on you and she's. Yeah. I don't know. It's just a really beautiful thing. And I don't I, you know, it was a dream to do what I did in New York City and to come in and like, dream it up and how people want to show up. And I, and that's the heart of service of what we do is like, where am I needed?
[00:41:43]
Ryan: Where can I. You know, imagine what I've been doing here on this scale. Can I take it to another scale? And so like, that was the most valuable thing. And I also trust, you know, I always say God is my employer. So it's like, I get moved around on the board. It's like, I can just sit here and, you know, many years ago I was asked to be like the in house life coach for the push, which was, you know, Courtney Kardashian's wellness space.
[00:42:08]
Ryan: And so I wrote 75 articles for them and I'm just sitting here on the farm. It's like, I get found and I don't have to find and go and, you know, try to make it happen. I don't hustle like that. You know, I mean, I hustle in other ways because I get the work done. Like I'm, that's the Capricorn part. Yeah.
[00:42:24]
Ryan: Beauty and get things done and loyalty. Like all those things. Like I have that sense of. I'll see the generator in you. You can go. That's right. That's right.
[00:42:33]
Ryan: But it's like, I just keep, I just keep evolving through it. It's a joy. What a, what a joy to have. Purpose late in life and to feel that later in life, um, and it felt so elusive for so long and to have it and being its fullness and being a place where I can pick and choose like, that's also, you know, a luxury because I am partnered with someone who.
[00:42:54]
Ryan: I can do that and I can leave a job. And so I just want to give honoring to that. Not everybody has that ability to do that. And it's, um, it's a gift and I, and I really do honor it that way. But yeah, so it's, it's fun to be in a new place to see how this incarnation of purpose keeps evolving as I keep evolving alongside it.
[00:43:13]
Ryan: So beautiful.
[00:43:14]
Leah: Well, it's been really amazing hearing about your story and, and hearing your experience and, and so tell everyone how we could work with you. What kind of offerings you're doing, you know, in your current space.
[00:43:27]
Ryan: And yeah, I, um, you can contact me through my website. It's ryanhaddon. com and then we'll link it below too.
[00:43:33]
Ryan: So everyone can find it there. And I have like a little shop that I love to come and visit that. I have like different hypnosis recordings. If you want to just try out, see how that feels. I have a book called how to love yourself 10 simple ways. It was from an article that I'd written with push that people really resonated with.
[00:43:49]
Ryan: So I just expanded on it and made it a little ebook. I make beautiful, like spiritual jewelry. Cause I, I love jewelry. I love adorning. The vessel that we are and it being purposeful and connecting us in some ways, you know, and that's partially part of my India, you know, there's a lot of beautiful malas and things like that and protection.
[00:44:09]
Ryan: You know, uh, bracelets of protection for EMFs and five G and things like that. So I have that there. And then at this beautiful candle called Sanjali candle that, um, it's Palo Santo and wild blooming Jasmine. It's about clearing the space and like opening the heart. And so these things are just, um, their labors of love.
[00:44:26]
Ryan: I don't actually tend to make a ton. And it's just, cause I love doing them so much. Um, and then I'm on Instagram where I write a lot, so that's. Primarily, if you want to know what's going on and what I have day to day, it's, um, an Instagram at Ryan. Hadn't come and find me.
[00:44:42]
Leah: Yeah. Amazing. Well, I can't wait to dig into your site and I'll have to get myself 1 of your beautiful either jewelry pieces or your candle or.
[00:44:52]
Leah: Anything, but, um, it's been so cool just to get to know you and to hear more about your, your story. So thank you so much,
[00:44:59]
Ryan: Ryan. I love that. And I will definitely give you a friends and family discount. So let me know if something resonates and just reach out to me. Okay. Sounds good.
[00:45:09]
Leah: Thank you. Yeah.
[00:45:10]
Ryan: Thanks everyone.
